[Danni0226]

is he nacisstic? day to day we r fine if i do not ask him anything personal. We r just getting back together b/c a few yr's ago he cheated & tried to make me feel our past arguments or something I had done made him justified n it my fault. I could not trust him n he begged me not to leave i stayed until more lies and secrets reviled themselves each time anger n my fault. we went through a lot each time he asked me home, the last time i left i couldnt take anymore i cryed n begged for weeks for honesty each night he looked at me the same n tell me i was getting on his nearves etc. i left n he begged for his family back together. i explained to him we would have to figure some things out for weeks i'd come and go write letters attempt communication until i found out he was dealing with other woman it hurt i asked him and he lied i caught them and he treated me as if i was nothing later that day he wanted me to believe had i been home it wouldn't of happen he felt lonely. So I tryed to get all the clousre I could and he refused to talk about it needless to say i came home he told me i either come home work it out or some1 else would be playing step momma to our boys. I came I do love him. He would always accuse me of some1 else to justify his actions but i told him this would be my last try. of course no promises have been kept he says anything he can to make me feel horrible n trys to use reverse pshcology i am not completly dumb. however he has lied, i found a secret phone multiple dating sites, heard the horrible things he says to ppl about me gets angry when i try to find out what and why he's hiding things and each time tells me i could leave his house n leave my car keys on tv. without fail he'll later come and tell me he loves me or something like that. Last inncident i found an open condom wrapper in his dresser and 1 hidden in a book when i asked him he got defensive angry n said he's tried of me accusing him.he claims he doesn't know where it came from. i let it go to save the argument but wrote him a letter explaining to him all the questions i had we were suppost to talk about n work on explaining i want answers n understanding not a divorce. he got angry and acted very weird. I also asked his friend did my husband tell him he'd slept with his girlfriend b/c he told me he had I didnt ask him that, however he didn't and he is blaming me for their issue now b/c my husband lied to him and I. He only fasted talked me and told me how we're not working out. I had no idea we had a great weekend and he was fine until that. Now he asked me if I wanted to ride with him like nothing happened. I am so confused!! is this narcisstic or anything else

[Leed]

Why are you putting yourself thru this? You KNOW he's lying to you all the time. Why do you keep going back?

Take your kids, and if you have to, go to a shelter!!! There is no reason to live like that. Once a cheater, always a cheater --- and he's cheated on you more than once!!! He certainly can't be trusted!

Take your kids and make a new life for yourself. You're only asking for more heartache by going back time after time. Don't keep doing this to yourself. It's NEVER going to get any better!

Best of luck. Hugs, Lee

[kwalken]

Danni, I am sorry to hear about how these things are going for you. I can see this man is minipulating your life. He may tell you he loves you but his actions are not showing it. I know this because I have had similar problems. My problems are from the other side. I cheated on my wife and lied to her. But how you can tell if he really loves you is if he is actually doing things to make yours and his life better. I am on this site seeking help just like you to better myself because I really do love my wife and want to make our lives better for each other. I know what I did was wrong and I want to change my life so that I never hurt her or anyone else like I did again. If your husband is trying to do the things to show you instead of continuing to hurt you, then he really loves you. Unfortunately this does not sound like he does. I do not agree that "Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater" quote but if he continues to do the same things over and over he most likely will not change.

I am sorry for your pain right now. I feel guilty just reading your post and thank you for having the courage of sharing.