[miamian]

ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for 1.5 years so far so good. "gay relationship". well i had accepted him to out with his friends gay friends to the clubs but ive decided now against it. mainly because well all his friends are single. they spite him now cause they see me as a threat to thier hanging out. ive said time before i dont mind him going out with friends but why always to a gar bar. go bowling go drinks at a pub not some pick up joint. both of his friends on who is a coworker has issues dating and is rather childish and even ignores him at work if he feels like my bf doesnt hang out with him enough. insert wth look here. the other friend of his goes a way back and this one has screwed with another couple who is actually friends with my boyfriend as well. so im having trust issues with why exactly he needs to go to a club to "hang with his friends" when we go out to the clubs together which is rarely and i either want to go home after midnight some time they yell why you taking him home already or say to him to pressur him to stay. its getting to the point where im getting tired of putting up with it. esp the going out while im at my place. since i work in the mornings he just says dont go y ou have to work in the morning . and i let him hang just because im sure he enjoys it. but still it urks me alot! esp when i see facebook upsdates of him going out with out letting me know. or him avoiding to tell me because he knows ill disaprrove.. while i dont want to be overbearing. i do want to establish perameters in a relationship esp when it comes to the gay scence its not exactly a gentelmans club. and when we go out people i never met since we met say hi to him .so im thinking have they screwed? im a bit over annalytical but i cant help it. were moving in together and i look forward to a life long relationship with him. but i dont want to hav ehim go on partying at night alone while im at home. ive mentioned to him u know when we move into gether our friends should visit. i mean if there ones friends i dont see why being at ones home inst a viable option. am i wrong?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

It sounds as if you have a bf who is getting the best of both worlds...still going out & living the night life and yet has you. I would think more about that needing to change, especially if he's pushing you to stay home while he go out. His friends don't seem to respect his relationship, more importantly does he?

[kaliope]

this is something you definately need to clear up before you move in together. While I believe you should trust him enough to go out to clubs with his friends, I also believe that he shouldnt be going out behind your back. Youre right. You need to establish parameters. Do this before you move in together.

[shezbut]

I agree with the other two posts above.

Just because you have to work early in the morning doesn't mean that he ought to be going out to the bars with his buddies. Does he ever stay behind with you? Or is it a pretty common theme in your relationship? Like, he's out with his friends 3 or 4 nights a week?

I would take how often this occurs into mind. If he's going out often, I'd recommend a take me or leave me talk with him. If he goes out once a week, I'd tell him that him going regularly to bars worries me ~ can he do some other things with his buddies instead? Either way, get your feelings across to your bf. The clarity of how strongly I feel would depend upon what I'm getting out of the relationship now. {ie; Not getting much = point blank; I don't want to lose him = I'd word things carefully, so he doesn't go on the defense}

[Leed]

I agree with the others, and I like what Shezbut said -- what are YOU getting out of this relationship? It doesn't sound like much.

He sure isn't respecting your feelings. Why does he have to go out so often? What's wrong with spending more time with YOU? Is he attached at the hip to these guys? Are you SURE you want to move in with him? I'd really think ALOT before I'd do it cause I think it's going to end badly. Sounds to me like you're going to be alone a good share of the time.

I wouldn't give up my own apartment yet. I'd try living together for a couple of weeks first before I let the apartment go cause you might want to move back in to your apartment. He needs to grow up a little more. Best of luck & God bless. Hugs, Lee