[midnight.fairy]

My boyfriend of almost a year just broke up with me. I'm devistated. I have bad problems with depression and I think this might kill me. He's a really good Guy but I guess we don't understand each other. He is tired of dealing with my depressing crap. I really do try so hard but I guess its not good enough. I love him so much I still can't believe this happened. I've tried to fix myself. I started taking medication but I guess its not helping enough. I have no friends. I'm totally alone and I don't know how to deal with it. I want friends and a normal life but its really hard for me to get close to people. I'm 26 and this had been a lifelong struggle. Maybe I should just give up. We work together so I still have to see him which really sucks. I'm lost I really thought he was the one for me. Any words of wisdom would really help I'm just so sad and all Alone. I can't believe I'm back to my isolated life again

[Leed]

If you're medication isn't working very well you NEED to talk to your doctor about either upping the dosage or switching to something else. Sometimes after we've been on a certain medication for awhile, we tend to get "used" to it and it loses it's affectiveness. So we need an increase in dosage. My doc added Abilify to mine, and it made a WORLD of difference!! I felt SO much better -- but then I had to stop taking it cause it caused my legs & feet to swell. But I'm MUCH older than you too, so that may not be a problem for you.
Talk it over with your doc & see what he says.

As for your boyfriend -- seems like he would stick with you if he REALLY cared. "Real" loves don't ditch you because you're having a rough time with depression when he KNOWS you suffer from it!
If he really cared, he'd be patient & understanding. I think you're well rid of him. I KNOW there is someone out there for you who would be more caring.

Once you get your depression under control, it won't be so hard to make friends & meet people -- believe me. You'll feel much better and more able to cope. I wish you the very best --- please keep us posted, ok? I've been where you are. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

[Scotty204]

I know it looks bleak now but it will get better with time. I was cheated on by someone I loved and it almost killed me (emotionally) but it did take time to get over it. I suggest you take some time to focus on self healing right now.

[midnight.fairy]

I just feel like there's nothing I can do to change it. He thinks I'm mad when I'm not even mad. I guess he just doesn't understand me. I guess its better for me to keep my feelings inside which I usually do. I just don't know how to fix it and its killing me. I'm back to my lonely life again and its very depressing. I wish I had a friend but I don't.

[Coraline]

A breakup is bad enough, but it sounds like this is also bringing up a lot of general pain about your life and feeling isolated and lonely. It must be awful, I'm sorry you're going through this.

I think you need to look at these two things as separate. You need to grieve the loss of the relationship for its own sake, and allow yourself to express what you miss about him as a person. Separate from that is grieving for the fact that you had someone, some closeness, and now you feel the pain of missing that.

The reason for separating them is that your healing from depression and loneliness doesn't have to depend on him being in your life. It's a different issue. So you can go on, and you can keep working on healing generally and getting to a point where life is better for you.

Do you have therapy? (counselling, not just someone checking in with you and giving you meds.) When you say you're completely alone, it sounds like it would help to have a therapist you can talk to and get support from.

It's not about "fixing" yourself. This isn't like a broken bone. It's about gently looking at difficult feelings and anxieties and learning how to cope with them and be kinder to yourself. Meds can help you while you heal, but they don't heal you on their own and they definitely don't fix you. Can you talk to your doctor about counselling?

[bipolarmedstudent]

Originally Posted by midnight.fairy

My boyfriend of almost a year just broke up with me. I'm devistated. I have bad problems with depression and I think this might kill me. He's a really good Guy but I guess we don't understand each other. He is tired of dealing with my depressing crap. I really do try so hard but I guess its not good enough. I love him so much I still can't believe this happened. I've tried to fix myself. I started taking medication but I guess its not helping enough. I have no friends. I'm totally alone and I don't know how to deal with it. I want friends and a normal life but its really hard for me to get close to people. I'm 26 and this had been a lifelong struggle. Maybe I should just give up. We work together so I still have to see him which really sucks. I'm lost I really thought he was the one for me. Any words of wisdom would really help I'm just so sad and all Alone. I can't believe I'm back to my isolated life again

Read the books:
"He's just not that into you" and
"It's called a break up because it's broken"

Those books really really helped me.

Also, watch a LOT of tv in the meantime to take your mind off the break up if you need to.

[midnight.fairy]

@coraline I have my first therapy appointment on Tuesday. I really hope it helps me. Every time we try to talk it out my br just comes off cold and it hurts me. I told him he sounded like a robot which was probably bad so I dunno. I get tired of saying sorry all the time. Sometimes I don't think I'm wrong. He wont introduce me to his kid because I'm "crazy" which really hurts. I guess it should end ****** just really hurts.