[alphabet1]

OK, here it is: im an 18yo female, quite attractive (blue eye, blond hair, surfy type) and yetnever had a proper boyfriend.
i know its all not just looks, its also personality, but according to others Im kind, funny and intelligent.
Here is the problem; I can communicate well with guys and get along well with them as friends. But it is as soon as they tell me they have feelings. BANG, i can never get words out or know how to communicate.
At one stage I had them crawling at my feet, and I managed to stuff all of it up!
I dont understand
I am talking to a guy at the moment that I have met recently, only have met him a couple times in person. But we are going to go out for coffee soon; which i think may be ok. But when things go further into the relationship.. i dont want to stuff it up!!

help?

[Leed]

By "stuff it up" do you mean you get all tongue tied? (I'm old -- I don't know all this new talk )

Well, if he says he likes you, or something -- say "I like you too" or something like that. If he "declares his love" (yeah I know -- corny) you might say he's going too fast!

Maybe you're just thinking too hard of something to say. Just let it come naturally. Talk about your likes & dislikes. Better yet, let HIM direct the conversation. Once you get to know each other better, it won't be such a problem. You might be "coy" and tell him you're shy. LOL Some guys like that. LOL

Best of luck & let us know how it goes. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[alphabet1]

Sorry by "Stuff it up" I mean- let them go, or dont act quick enough. Confuse them etc.
Thank you for your advice greatly appreciated!

Maybe half the problem is; im confused about what I want?

[wackywidow]

I think the problem may lie in the fact that you may be afraid of your own feelings as a woman. Don't be! Your feelings are a part of you and every woman has them. Self-control is an art so consider it a challenge to grow into the woman you were meant to be.

[Perna]

It can take awhile and a bit of experience. If you haven't been out with a guy, you don't know how to act and what to say; it's not something we're born knowing, how to communicate with others of the opposite sex. I have three brothers and had a heck of a time, didn't meet my husband and make something work well until my mid-30's.

The coffee shop sounds good to me too; see how slowly you can take things and don't worry about whether you get more dates with the guy or just learn to talk a bit easier with one.

[roads]

Hey, alphabet1, welcome to PsychCentral. I'm old too (66) but happen to be reviewing lifejournals from just that period of my life. I was away at college and met some amazing guys I'd have liked to know better my age and older. That "I'm getting feelings for you" line was a toughy.

But at that age, too often it was literal. They really wanted to feel me. It was just their hormones, and mine weren't bouncing off walls yet.

Self-control *is*an art, and until you know what you want it's not a bad idea to relax and and just become aware of what's available. Live is such an amazing journey, and in its course you will meet so many people. Learn and polish communication skills, verbal and non-verbal. Body-language speaks volumes. Facial expressions, eye contact, hand shakes ... all avenues of self-expression.

Be aware of what your hair, make-up, & clothing say too. Maybe you're content to be typical of you're generation ... Or maybe you're "100% Y.O.U.

Roadie