[Sapphire2012]

I have been trying and trying but my relationship seems impossible. I have a partner who I love very much but he today it's over. He has schizophrenia and while at times he's this loving amazing guy other times like today he can just be completely impossible. I do my best but sometimes it seems whatever I do isn't good enough. I have generalised anxiety so when he gets like this it really stresses me out. I really try to be supportive and since he's been in hospital I'm the only person who's visiting because it's so far away. But today he was just so unreasonable and selfish I just couldn't take it. I don't know what to do?

[gma45]

It does take two to make a relationship work. If he is unwilling to support you also it doesn't sound promising. I hope for the best for you.

[Polydodecahedron]

Breaking away from someone you have spent so much time around can feel such a hard place to be in, however when two people come together their individual difficulties can make it even tougher than a regular relationship and perhaps you will (even if it might not feel like its possible now) each be better off with a chance to each meet someone else who is more available to be there for you when things get tough with your anxiety (or in his case, his schizophrenia). I wish you the best of luck ahead

[LadyShadow]

It is difficult loving someone with an illness as complex as that. Highs and lows put strains on relationships and it becomes hard to manage if you are stressed out yourself. You come first, remember that, and if you can't handle it and it is too much for you than you have to part ways. No one is worth becoming sick over. I know that all too well.

[Sapphire2012]

Thanks for your post and hugs. It's nice to feel that people understand what you're going through. I did try and stick it out for a little but the other he left a message saying some really horrible, obscene things and I did end it. I do feel guilty because I hate to leave someone while they're unwell but he feels he is well and wants to be this way. It's sad because if I was stronger I could deal with things but I'm just so exhausted. My anxiety plays out with heart pains, cramps, shaking etc and I'm noticing those things starting up and I have a child to look after. I love him so much but he's always going to have this side of him and do inappropriate things and say sorry later and there's only so much my heart can take.

[shezbut]

(((Sapphire2012)))

I think that it will be plain difficult for your bf to maintain any healthy relationship, unfortunately. No one (healthy or not) wants to be called names or hear shocking and hurtful remarks from someone that they're emotionally involved with. Particularly a romantic relationship.

Don't blame yourself, and think that you're merely weak. You aren't weak at all. In fact, you're much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Most people would fear developing a relationship with your bf to begin with, due to the attached stigma.

You need to take care of yourself. That is number one. Having a child to care for is most definitely a close #2. You made the right decision to take a step or two back from your ex-bf.

[Sapphire2012]

Thank you for your post. I'm trying to be strong and not to feel bad. He does seem like he is genuinely sorry. Now he has realised how much he has hurt me he seems to have withdrawn because he doesn't want to talk when he's upset so he doesn't say anything horrible. I've just been feeling really depressed today, I don't really feel like I can talk to people because they feel like I know he has these issues and I chose to stick around so I have to deal with the fallout. I just feel so trapped in my own head going over events that did or did not happen. Trying to make sense of gaps and partial information and possible friendships or infidelities. I'm just so low right now. I'm just do confused, especially days like today when I'm not at work and have the whole day to think. The problem is there's been so many lies, you never know what's the truth and it seems there may have even been something going on with the neighbour, he says they just you to talk but he kept denying he ever spoke to her at the time which made me believe there's something to hide. I just can't find any balance right now. I'm so confused about everything. I just feel like giving up!