[Edamame101]

While I've been diagnosed with Anxiety before, I've never been diagnosed with any kind of problems socially, However, from a very young age, I've always been the social outcast. The rest of my family is normal, and they fit in everywhere they go. They all have friends, and people like them. Unlike me. All throughout elementary school, I was bullied physically, and verbally. Then, in highschool, I remember having holes punched in my ramen noodle cups so when I went to fill them with boiling hot water, it burned my feet. I remember eating in the bathroom, because I didn't have any friends. I figured things would get better, I figured my life would turn around once I got into college. It didn't.

I don't get how my entire family can be socially accepted, but I can't! What am I doing wrong? Why can't I just be myself and have friends that appreciate me for what I am?! I've never understood it, and I wonder if it's just my personality that turns people off. To be honest, at this point in my life, I'm just sick, and tired. I'm so done with living. If this is what it's going to be for the rest of my life, what's the point of living anymore? What's the point in going on alone in the world, because I'm ****ing socially retarded? Was I ****ing hit on the head as a child, and that's why I'm so godawful at this ****? I just don't ****ing get it! I try to fit in, I wear makeup, I worry about my appearance, and even put out, but it's not enough. People don't like me.

I'm horrified to get in social situations now. I avoid them like the plague. I've been so rejected so often that I just would rather skip the entire awkward phase, and get right to the alone again phase. It seems this is my life now, so I'll either have to live like this forever, or just give up.

I mean, what choices do I really have? While I've gone through phases of being confident, pretty, and pretending to be happy, I've never really had any friends, so it's obviously something I'm doing wrong. If I was like everyone else, or like the rest of my family, I'd be fine, but somehow, I was born different than everyone else.

[Christina86]

Hello there! Would you consider, perhaps, finding a sort of social support group or a therapist? Or finding some sort of hobby that meets as a group, thus forcing you into a social situation? Maybe it won't work, but maybe it will?

[Leed]

Bless your heart --- I don't have a clue. I really don't. Sometimes we put out an air of unapproacability without even meaning to, but I really don't know.

Is there any way you can see a therapist? Perhaps they can help you understand what's going on. As the old saying goes sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees! A therapist could help you more readily make friends and be more approachable. It's worth a try anyway.

Life IS worth it--- you don't DESERVE to be alone the rest of your life!! You have to give this a good try. People can be cruel. Life can be cruel, and we have to do whatever we can to change things. Please think about it. You were put here for a REASON -- you are NEEDED here!

I wish you the very best -- please keep us posted ok? We care! Let me know what happens, will you? I really want to know. God bless. Hugs, Lee

Your attitude is wrong, hun. I've always been a loner. When I was young, I used to care and want friends and try to fit in but I've always been kinda weird. "Weird"... That's how most people who don't know me would describe me, even to this day. But eventually I gave up trying to be cool and it seemed like once I gave up, people wanted to be my friend. But I didn't give a crap anymore. I now embrace myself for being different. I love that I'm not like everybody else and I don't want to be! I hope you can find some inner peace about it. Perhaps some therapy would help?? Good luck to you, hun!

[eskielover]

I would suggest therapy & through therapy getting involved in DBT....group setting specifically. It teaches us skills that for some reason we didn't catch onto or weren't taught growing up.

It teaches us mindfulness...awareness of our emotional & logical thinking & putting them together to come up with wise decisions on how to handle situations or problems we find our life in.

The interpersonal effectiveness I think would be key to your situation. It helps us learn how to interface is an effective way with others. To learn how & when to ask for things we need & how & when to say NO to those asking things from us.

It also helps with emotional regulation (controlling our emotions & letting them out in appropriate ways....recognizing that all our emotions are there for a reason).......& distress tolerance (how to deal with distressing situations we find ourself in in life so that we don't make the matter worse).

One thing that hit me was please don't "put out" to get people to accept you. If they don't accept you for who & what you are....you don't need those kind of people to accept you...you are better off without them in your life.

Know it's difficult to see the rest of your family be accepted......I think therapy could definitely help you learn what's missing in your life that is causing that to happen. Maybe it's your perception of what is happening. Or maybe your family treated you as an outcast & it's been what you have taken on as your feelings about yourself. If you are the youngest, sometimes that happens......

Think therapy would be your best help in your situation.....with DBT as it's focus.....just my suggestion. I didn't have the same problem as you have, but I know how much DBT has helped everyone I know including myself no matter what their issues have been.

[faerie_moon_x]

I really feel for you and I understand. I was such a social outcast. Now, I'm not a doctor or scientist or anything, but I have observed my life and friends or lack of them. I think people connect on some other level than just talking and seeing. I don't know if it is some sort of pharamone or "psychic" thing or what, but I honestly believe that some people put off some type of vibe that draws people to them, others that are average, then some that drive people away.

Let's take me and my husband. Everywhere he goes people are drawn to him. He's actually kind of shy but he's confident and a good leader. Even people who don't actually meet him in person are drawn to him. His mom says he's been that way his whole life. People want to be around him and follow him.

Then there's me. I'm very talkitive and friendly. However, it's almost like I have a sign on my head that says 'WEIRDO ALERT.' It's alsmost impossible for me to make friends. There's just something about me that puts people off. Even when I had friends I wasn't overly connected to them.

My advice is to "kill with kindess." Just be as friendly as possible. Try looking for groups that are based on things you enjoy. Don't try to "fit in" because people can tell when you're being fake, I think. Just practice being relaxed around people. This has made things better for me. People don't necessarily be my "friend" but they don't do the "here she comes, let's hide," routine, either.