doubts in my relationship

I have been with my partner for 4 years.
Things started off rocky, as he still appeared to have feelings for his ex.
We worked through it, and things seemed to be ok.
We had a child, ive found it hard to lose the baby weight.
We then accidentally fell pregnant with twins.
We had a huge fight, some nasty things were said in the heat of the moment. and i lost my twins the night of the fight.
Now he has started watching porn.
ive told him i have no problem with him watching it, so long as he doesnt come to me afterwards for sex.
No he doesnt come to me for sex at all. He watches his dirty movies and sleeps on the couch.
Ive also had rumours from his workplace that he is sending and receiving dirty messages with a female staff member, and he has recieved many 2am phonecalls.
Our together time used to involve doing things as a couple, now it involves me watching him play the playstation.

I dont know where i stand in the relationship any more.

Do you WANT to be in this relationship?
Do you think it has longterm potential?
Are you happy? Fulfilled? Satisfied?

If the answer to more than one of these is "no", then you should know that the relationship isn't really something you seem to want...

Correct me if I'm wrong though. I'm sorry.

It sounds like you two don't know how to communicate cause you're sure not doing it. How about sitting down and having a CALM discussion about the relationship, regardless of what the end result is? Your child will NOT be happy in an unhappy relationship so even if you split up, the child will be happier in a "broken" HAPPY home than he will be in an unhappy "together" home.

Talk things out -- see what you both want; see what the problem is and whether or not it CAN be fixed. Ask him if he'll go to couples counseling. If he won't then you'll know he's not willing to work on the relationship.

Best of luck. I hope things work out (if you want them to). Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

I'm very sorry to hear things are not well in your relationship and for you loss.

I think you do need to talk things out calmly, as Leed said. Also, consider that you both have suffered a loss. I have heard of disconnecting like this after such a loss. Perhaps he is grieving and his grief has led him astray.