There are lots of people I've 'known' for years, but it's never progressed to more than a nod or saying 'hello' to each other. Then a new person comes on the scene and they're immediately best friends.

**** you, socialising people.

[wrightke83]

You're soooo not alone...I have major depression and social situations have gotten harder and harder the older i get; its even difficult to be myself and know how to act around my boyfriend (and my daughter's father) whom I've been with for three years. I just feel like I'm not a likeable person even though i feel like i'm a nice person. It seems so effortless for everyone else...why is it so hard for us?

Seems like you've had at least two relationships there . . .

I totally feel the same way and don't understand it either. I'm having this issue with both coworkers and my "friend" group. They are "nice" to me, but they're like bff's with each other. I get the feeling that they feel sorry for me and, if they didn't, they wouldn't give me the time of day.

[lv99atheist]

Are you all from Seattle? I live in probably the worst place in the U.S. to make friends. There's even a term for it: The Seattle Freeze.

I'm in the same boat. I crave relationships, but even getting to the "friends" stage seems impossible.

I know I'm not the best at making daily contact with people; but I don't usually disappear on them completely. I really do care about people... a lot. Probably too much, actually. I can't handle a lot of social interaction all at once. It's a bit odd, but when I do make friends with someone, if I can't focus entirely on that friend, and if s/he doesn't focus entirely on me, I feel like we're missing something.

Sorry, I don't have any advice, just a lot of sympathy.

Hey, IT - nodding to people is very safe but if you want to get to know them better you have to speak to them. this is not easy for some people. so, you do it gradually. start safely with comments like: nice day! move up to: how are you today?! and keep building. ask people for their names. you might not end up as best friends but you will make a better impression and improve your self confidence and gain valuable practice to meet others. you have to look at it in stages of progress. i hope this helps.

Originally Posted by lv99atheist

Are you all from Seattle? I live in probably the worst place in the U.S. to make friends. There's even a term for it: The Seattle Freeze.

I'm in the same boat. I crave relationships, but even getting to the "friends" stage seems impossible.

I know I'm not the best at making daily contact with people; but I don't usually disappear on them completely. I really do care about people... a lot. Probably too much, actually. I can't handle a lot of social interaction all at once. It's a bit odd, but when I do make friends with someone, if I can't focus entirely on that friend, and if s/he doesn't focus entirely on me, I feel like we're missing something.

Sorry, I don't have any advice, just a lot of sympathy.

i am gay and even in the lgbt community i find myself to be an outsider. i am below average in looks and success and personality. it has always been a problem. i know that your name includes the word atheist and, believe me, i struggle with religion and spirituality big big time, but lately i have found the safest and friendliest place to go is to the lgbt group at a nearby church. i feel safe there and the people are less judgmental and friendly.

seattle has a branch of the metropolitan community church (MCC) and i don't think you have to believe everything to qualify as a parishioner. See: http://www.mccseattle.org/ i think a lot of your issues (and mine) can be helped with spiritual healing. that is, the healing that happens when you have trust in something and that that something can help you to have a better life. it is so important to find a place where everyone is welcomed and treated humanely, and you need to find a place like that where you can meet others. please think it over. good luck to you!