Am I selfish? Is that wrong?

I dont know what has happened between my husband and I. I cant put my finger on when things shifted. I have removed myself from my family through obsessing on my work staying there ungodly hours, and retreating into my home office and "working" online when I am here. When my husband and I try to talk about things. My response is always...You dont care about me and my life, or you dont love me anymore. I am afraid I may be projecting my own feelings onto him to rationalize my anger. I am not sure how I feel about him. We have been married 9 years. We have two childrem 11 and 8. I am so unhappy. I feel so empty. Is it selfish for me to leave to find myself and my hapiness? Will my children be OK? If it is selfish, is that wrong? Is it wrong to live my life in whatever way will make me happy?

You are never selfish for wanting to grow and mature and expand your horizons. This is something I'm struggling with myself, and I haven't even been married a year yet. Changing introduces a lot of fear and doubt. It's terrifying to think that you might be better off on your own.

My question to you is this: Are you ready to take that next step to be on your own?

Welcome to PC sullen. (you too, Janine!) I can understand the wanting to get away, but I think to leave is too drastic a step right now. I would caution using the word or idea of being "selfish."

You may very well have good potential for a great marriage and "rest of your life" right where you are. You may be suffering depression... talk with your MD about it (and make sure your physical is up to date, many physical ills cause feelings like these imo.)

It's never too early to go to counselling...couples counselling... for even great marriages can get better. TC

I have been married 30 years and have had the same feelings as you from time to time, please as Sky said check with your doctor see what might be going on, it could be Medical, counseling worked for us also
good luck and welcome

Thanks, Sky. I'll agree with what you said, absolutely. I was simply trying to spark actual thought instead of gut instinct/reactions, doing what other people had done for me.