[tennisgrlcc]

I'm only 15 I know I probably shouldn't be worrying about stuff like this. First I wonder if any guy would even love me, would they actually ever notice me out of other people. Im a very quiet person, shy, I have social anxiety and depression I have ever since I was little. I've dated a few people but it was when I was deeply "sick" in my eating disorder, depression, cutting. Ever since I have a hard time making friends, I tend to isolate myself without even being aware I am. I'm afraid I will never get a guy. My step sister who is 7mnths younger has already had sex has a boyfriend constantly and has guys hit on her. She is in public school and I'm in private.
This may sound weird but my mom left me when I was younger we talked a little and visited but now we don't talk at all last time we did she cussed me out. So I don't have a mom never really had. I wonder who will be there at my wedding but most of all who will be there when I am married and have a baby. Will I only have my husband? If I do get a guy that notices me and picks me and loves me?

[dailyhealing]

I think we can't always control what we worry about, especially when we suffer from depression and anxiety. I do think you will have a boyfriend, though I think at your age there is really no rush to jump into something. I think though that in order to have a good relationship with someone else we need to feel good about ourselves first. I'm a guy, but felt similar to you as a teen. I felt like nobody would ever like me and was very insecure about not having a girlfriend. I found that I needed to work on myself for a while before I was able to be in a healthy relationship.

[Leed]

Hi hon ~ "Dailyhealing" is right. First, you have to learn to love YOURSELF before you can learn to love someone else, or have them love YOU.

You say you suffer from depression -- I think you need to talk to someone about that. Is there some way you can talk to a counselor about this? Every school has a counselor. Can you talk to yours at school? They won't tell anyone about it, unless they fear for your safety. It's confidental, ok? They won't call your parents -- so go ahead and talk to them. You really need someone to talk to that is trained in this kind of thing.

And secondly don't compare yourself to your to your step-sister. It doesn't MATTER what she does cause she's a whole different person than you are. And believe me, she's TOO YOUNG to be having sex!! She's probably going to end up pregnant! Would YOU want that to happen to you? That would be horrible! You DON'T want a baby at this age! You would NOT be able to support it, and it's not fair to have your parents support it.

You will find a boyfriend when the time is right. But right now, you need to focus on yourself and your studies. You need to learn to love yourself first. Be sure and talk to the counselor too, ok? God bless and please take care. We ALL care about you. Hugs, Lee