[wi_fighter]

Most of you know that the last year or two has been pretty stressful for me with the ex and his girlfriend being less than responsible when it comes to the kids at times. I'd been majorly holding a grudge and being downright stubborn, whether it was good for me or not. (Must be the German in me. )

Now, when you don't have to deal with the ex for long periods or because of important things, he's tolerable. It's when you have to live with his "I'm smarter, better, wiser, blah blah blah" that really tears you down.

His girlfriend is actually nice, as long as you don't have to live with her and her mood swings (which the kids have said have really tapered off since shortly after her "I can't wait to get to a therapist and be fixed because you kids make me crazy" tantrum). Now she just has her PMS moments. As a woman myself, I can't fault her for that. LOL (and the kids really CAN cause you to feel like you're losing it. The bickering between them, oy vay).

So anyway, my son forget his cell phone at his dad's, so on Saturday after bowling and errands we stopped over there to pick it up. The ex had a bunch of friends over and they were cleaning up the feed yard because the insurance company wants the silo and barns brought down. The barns I can see, they're getting pretty lopsided and could easily fall over during a storm. I don't understand their reasoning for the silo. It's perfectly fine, but I digress.

My son, of course, has to go hang with the guys for a while. I'm scratching Cookie's ears because she was outside on the leash (she hates to be inside if the temperature is above freezing). The girlfriend comes to the patio door with not one, not two, but THREE more dogs - her sister's and two of the guy friend's dogs. I was in doggie heaven. A golden retriever, a black lab/rottweiler mix, and a pit bull/great dane mix. They were all so sweeeeeet. The golden had to give me hugs and kisses.

So the g/f says "you don't have to wait outside, come on in." OK, this is weird since this is my old house and I haven't set foot in it in over a year since she moved in.

She's getting chips and dips set up for the guys when they take a break. She's offering me drinks and snacks and we're sitting there talking like two - gasp, I hate to say it - friends.

It was so nice to be able to talk to another female. The women in town are so cliquey since they've all known each other since grade school, and the women who go to bowling to watch their kids live in an affluent town and are also very cliquey, so I never have anyone to talk to. I just don't have the confidence to try and break in. Besides, who wants to be a member of some group that you have to claw and scratch your way into, just to snub other people?

I had to turn the snacks and soda down since I've been watching my weight and have almost entirely cut out the nasty carbs and sugar. She was a little flustered, but then remembered she had some diet Pepsi in the back hallway. (I turned down an alcoholic drink because they hit me too fast and I had to drive again really soon).

Anyway, it was nice. My kids were absolutely SHOCKED to hear that we were actually talking.

Still, it was a bit strange. I actually dropped the grudge and enjoyed myself. Damn dogs are what started it. How can you be *****y when you're scratching fluffy ears and getting doggie kisses.

[Sabrina]

I am happy for you. I reckon it is a relief when things sort of work themselves out like this.

My husband's ex girlfriend and mother of his daughter still will not talk to me after about 6 years. She has only recently started greeting me and at least allows my stepdaughter to come to us.
It is not that bad though - she is in no way a thorn in my side. She just refuses to talk to me.

Your kids will only respect you for this.

Thank you for sharing - I enjoyed reading this.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you for sharing.... I respect you for letting go of a grudge.

[wi_fighter]

I pulled in the driveway thinking "Yuck, I don't want to be here." I managed to suck it up and survive.

It was a bit weird when she mentioned that "T (the ex) and I and the dog were in bed this morning..." I was thinking "Yeah, OK, I'm managing to talk to you, but hold off on the "we were in bed" talk for the moment." LOL They're in the same bed frame and mattress *I" used to sleep in. It's just.....weird.

[Sabrina]

As weird as what it is, you are handling it very well indeed!!

[bebop]

I am glad you had a talk with her. I would look at it as he is her problem now and probably pity her for enduring whatever he puts her thru. being friendly is much better to me. I have been on both sides of that fence. and I do understand not having another female to talk to around you. it is hard to deal with that.

[wi_fighter]

Yesterday was the final day of bowling league for my son, so even though it wasn't my weekend with the kids, I went. The ex's g/f had to take the kids because he had to go to the office to do some work. Me, my daughter, and the g/f sat at the table and watched the boys bowl and talked.

Then I headed out to spend some "me" time and go shopping and out for lunch. (No whining from any kids that they're bored, fighting for front-seat position, or not wanting to eat where I want to eat. Yay!)

My daughter needed an outfit to wear today. I said I'd run her dress shoes over so they didn't have to try and find shoes too. Then my daughter calls me to tell me to bring her Chuck's and a razor, and that the g/f asked if I could pick up a can of cream of mushroom soup because she didn't have any. OK, no problem. She called back later to say nevermind on the soup, since they'd be in town this morning before she needed it anyway.

OK, weirdness hasn't set it YET.

I get home about 7:00, grab my daughter's shoes, and head to the ex's. I figured it'd be a drop off and run sort of thing. The g/f saw the new shoes I had on and made me come in the house so she could get a good look at them and wanted to know about my shopping day (we share a love of bargain hunting).

I ended up staying for 2 hours while she and the kids and I hung out in the kitchen and had drinks and snacks. The ex kind of made himself scarce until I'd been there so long that he couldn't stand being hidden away from everyone, so he finally joined the crowd. LOL

So I'm going to end up with Easter dinner leftovers, and the g/f, her sister, me and maybe their cousin are all going to go out some night when the ex has the kids, so I can get ouf the house with some other people for a change.

I've been such an absolute beotch the past couple of years due to the g/f and some of her lame-brained actions, but she's one of those people you just can't help liking the more you get around her. She has this thing about nicely annoying the hell out of people until they give in to her offers to do something with her. Ay yi yi! I've been sucked in.

And me and my suspiciousness, I can't assume she's just one of those perpetually NICE people (because the ex and the kids have said otherwise), I have to wonder what her ulterior motives are.

[LMo]

OMG! HA! This is CRAZY! But I'm thrilled for you -- as a former stepmother, I can tell you that it makes things a BAZILLION times easier if the stepmom and mom get along!

WOW! Way to go! I'm both stunned and overjoyed for you!

[wi_fighter]

It's hilarious, isn't it?

The kids are cool with it. They liked spending the extra time with me.

The whole crew was in the kitchen, including the dogs.

Now I just hope she didn't go into a screaming fit like that other time they had people over and my daughter was text messaging me about how she just wanted to die and that everything was her fault. She seems to be one of those people who's all nice and smiles when there's other people around, and then gets all bent out of shape when it's just the "family."

[mrb020377]

I am just getting to this thread, I couldnt help but think wow! Maybe this girl needed some female company as well.. I hope this doesnt back fire on you and that it all works out well for all

[wi_fighter]

I hope it doesn't backfire either. The suspicious, skeptical side of me wonders if she's trying to get info out of me that they could spin to make me look bad.

She's the only woman in her work office, and she lives out in the middle of nowhere now instead of in town where her sister and cousin were close by. Maybe she is sick of being the only woman with a houseful of men since my daughter is only there 8 nights a month now.

[mrb020377]

maybe so.. maybe she just needs som company too. i would still put up some bounderies though, just in case she is trying to get some info out of you