[doggiedo]

I am officially broken up with my boyfriend and single. I told my mom and also reinforced that I

• Now that I’m single doesn’t mean I’m ready to date – even though she often pushes me to get right back on that horse
• I know I’m getting older and I’m not ready to have kids just yet (hence, the no dating thing)
• I need to figure out who I am without being defined by a man or a relationship
• Now that I’m single it doesn’t mean she can send me job postings for things closer to the family or house listings for me to move on their street. It’s funny, but it’s NOT when it’s you she is sending this stuff to! She’s so passive aggressive!

I feel like I should get right back on that horse, but a piece of me wants to do nothing and enjoy it. I want to not have to hang out with anyone. I want to be able to chill and not be obligated to call anyone just because I feel the need to. I don’t want to have the headache of stressing over feelings or wondering how someone feels for me. Relationships are exhausting and I need a vacation from it all.

So the question is, do I give myself a timeline, give that I DO want to have kids in the next 5 years or so? I’m 32 right now, and not getting any younger. Or, do I just go with my feelings and let them dictate where I go?

[NinaNina]

It sounds like you know exactly what you want, so congrats!

I personally think you should just take the same to relax and be by yourself for now. Starting to date before your ready won't do you or any future partner any good. So take this time to do exactly what you want to do...and that doesn't mean something won't come along just because your not actively looking. When I met my current boyfriend- I was definitely not looking for anything, but here I am lol.

You should be very proud though, it sounds like you are handling everything very well, and its amazing that you seem to know so clearly what you want- that can be such a hard thing to figure out!

[Leed]

I agree 100% with NinaNina ~ Don't stress over dating or not or having kids or not. And don't let your mother stress you out either -- it's not HER life -- she already had hers. This is YOUR life (sounds like a show, doesn't it?) and you need to do what YOU want to do.

Rest, relax and forget about pleasing everyone else. That's exhausting. Chances are the "right" guy will come around when you least expect it.

So put your feet up and enjoy. It's about time you did. Hugs, Lee

[doggiedo]

I hope you are right guys and thanks for your responses. A college friend just had a baby yesterday, and again living the life I want....sad.