[Tori95]

I'm gonna try to make this short, but please read. I'm 15 years old and my parents have been divorced since I was 5. My mom, brother and me moved away frOm my dad to Virginia. I talked to my dad every so often but I didn't see him much. Then my parents tried to live together in our townhouse in Virginia and that did not work out. So in 2008 my dad ran away to Spain and then Venezuela because he is Venezuelan. My mom got cancer in summer of 2009 but by late 2011 doctors said that she would be dead in two months or less. So that ment my dad would have to come back to America. My. Dad had been out of the country for too long so he got a humanitarian visa with the help of my aunt which allows him to be here for 6 months. My mom didn't die and she is gettin better every day and she can even drive now. Anyway my dad promised y mon many things over the phone which he obviously lied about . My father is a bi polar achoholic who also does steroids. Me and my mom and brother have moved back to louisiana just about two weeks ago to live in a house with my dad an it has been terrible all they did was fight about everything but now my mom don't talk to him that much anymore. He is fighting and giving my mom sknkuch stress while she is fighting for her life with breast cancer.... My dad wants to marry someone so that he doesn't have to go back to Venezuela in August when six months Is over. On a side note... I think I have some sexual and mental issues I'm 15 and female and the mainly older guys like me because I look like I'm 20. But I have given 7 blow jobs but I'm still a virgin. About a week ago. I left my house at 2 am and I thought my dad was sleeping. Turns out he saw me get into a car and thought I got raped do he called the police. Luckily when î was done I told the guy I was with to drop off not infront of my house ory dad would've killed him because he had a gun with him. Another thing is tht I think this world might be fake or maybe there is cameras watching my every move do sometimes I don't do certain things because of that. I'm also pretty sure me and my 14 year oldbrother are deffinatly bibpolar. No doubt about it: we'll right now I'm in my room laying down with all the lights off because I just got finished crying for I hate my life so much . I have considered becoming a street waalker or stripper when I grow up then again I've wanted to kill myself many times but I know I won't because I'm even to scared to cut my self

[doggiedo]

Sounds like u are going through and have been through a lot. Do u have someone, maybe a teacher or a friends's parent, who u can talk to? U don't want to be a street worker. U deserve better than that. I'm sure you are a smart, beautiful girl. U are on here looking for help, so I know you are smart and want away out. You have to respect yourself and know that you don't need to give guys "pleasure" in other to feel self worth. I'm sure u have a lot to offer. Maybe u can reach out and discuss your relationship with your father and why you feel so down. Hang in there hun!

[RomanSunburn]

I second everything that Doggiedo said. You sound very intelligent and compassionate. It also sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now, more than you should have to take on alone. I know it's summer right now, but maybe when you get back to school in the fall you can talk to your school's counselor about what is going on at home. They might be able to get you some help. In regards to the sexual things -- I get the feeling that you're doing this to please other people, not because you necessarily enjoy it yourself. Believe that you are a worthwhile human being that deserves love and happiness; don't allow others to make you feel a certain way. Try to build up your self confidence and self worth so you don't feel the need to get it from others. Much easier said than done, I know. But a counselor would be able to help you with this as well. Don't do anything you are uncomfortable doing. Tell yourself every day that you a beautiful, good, worthy, and that you deserve love and happiness. At first it might sound fake, but if you keep saying it, you'll begin to believe it and you'll start treating yourself better. In this crazy world, you have to take care of yourself as best you can.

[Trippin2.0]

From what you posted, I don't think anything's wrong with you, but there is alot wrong in your life, and you need a support system to help you cope. The above suggestions are very good, I hope you decide to speak to someone to address your self-esteem issue and to teach you coping skills.