[Jenn1fer82]

I am (30 yrs old) stuck in the middle and I thought what I was doing was the right thing but now I know things are going to boil over and soon enough things are going to explode.
Sister #1(27 yrs old) is very judgmental and she would always come to me and critize, and would just say things that shames our sister #2. I would just listen and wouldnt say much. I would express my concerns for our sister #2 but I would never put down our sister #2 (24 yrs old).
It has gone to far with Sister #1 and I knew I couldn't stand up for sister #2 because sister #1 wouldn't care to listen. If I stood up for sister #2, sister #1 just wouldnt care anyway. She is always right!!
I was feeling so much guilt that I didn't stand up for sister #2, I went to sister #2 and told her whats been going on and whats been said behind her back for the last year or so.
Sister #2 is so hurt by it and she also now want to talk to sister #1. I told sister #2 that I don't mind for her to talk to sister #1. I know by then sister #1 will hate me and we will never talk again. In some way I felt guilty by even telling sister #2 anything. I should have just kept everything to myself so then no one will have to get stressed out.
I felt so guilty for not standing up for sister #2 but then when I told her everything sister #2 is now more upset and hurt then ever and sister #1 will hate me.

I feel like now I should just go to sister #1 and tell her what I did and to tell her my real feelings that her negativity is hurting all of us and I can't be around that anymore. It makes me wonder what she's said about me behind my back if she can put down our sister #2. She saids things that are so horrible and its not out of concerns. She puts so much shame on our sister #2. Enough is enough.
What should I do?

[DianaCW91]

Wow sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Sounds like things need to get out in the open between you all - it is the only way you can get past all this. I don't think it was wrong for you to tell sister #2 whats been going on and what is being said. I know if a family member was saying bad things about me behind my back I'd want to know. Yes I'm sure sister #2's feels are hurt - things like that always do. But she can't deal with a situation she does not know about.

No I do not think you should have kept everything in - for 2 reasons. One it would eat you from the inside out and that is not healthy for you. Two, Sister #1 needs to know that her actions and words have consequences.

Maybe all three of you need to get together and tell each other how you feel. If sister #1 behaves as you fear she will, that is her choice. But she has to learn that you both have choices also and will not suffer because of her behaviour.

Follow your heart and remember they will always be your sisters, but at the same time stand up for what you believe to be the right thing.

I wish you all the best

[BDPpartner]

I think that approaching sister#1 and telling her what you've done and why you feel the way you feel is a good idea Something you could also do is lay down some ground rules with your sisters especially sister#1 so that a similar situations do not happen in the future. At the end of the day you are now all adults and you need to find a way to change how you relate and behave towards each other to reflect that. It can be easy to fall back into old sometimes less than mature behaviours when it comes to siblings because that's the way you have interacted for a large part of your lives, perhaps just remind your sisters of this and your need to focus on building a new dynamic. Good luck

[Jan1212]

My siblings are different and sometimes we all need time apart from each other. She is hurt because she hasn't had time to process her feelings and to forgive (or not) your other sister. She is a grown woman and should be mature enough not to hurt others behind their backs that bad, especially family. Maybe she has issues and that's how she gets her relief, unfortunately. Some people are like that, don't exhaust yourself in her drama I know you feel responsibility as a peacekeeper but there is just so much you can do... it is hard to change a person

She can say anything she wants about anybody, but that's just going to hurt herself because nobody will trust her.