 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Jun 24, 2012, 12:32 AM
|
||||
|
||||
 I am having problems with trust issues. He has not cheated but some things he does makes me wonder will he. I also have a problem with his masturbation. I think this is prob due to sexual abuse as a child. But it just bothers me so much. I can't even sleep without him next to me. We are currently seeing a t but just started. How do i let the masturbation thing go? How do i convince myself that it is ok? He has had inapproriate conversations with a woman at work but he tells me that she is a lesbian. But if she is a lesbian than why are they having these convos. Its not too bad but she made a comment that "everyone will think we are dating we talk so much". Should i be upset at this?? I am professional at my job so why isn't he? Would a lesbian make such a comment since she is not interested in men? Why am I so freaked out? Maybe I need a self esteem boost...
__________________
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ---Robert Frost |
|
#2
Jun 24, 2012, 04:53 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
How do you know he's had "inappropriate" conversations with this lesbian? Is it just because he talks with her that you think it's inappropriate? I don't think that comment she made was so bad. Everyone probably knows she's a lesbian anyway, so what's so bad about that comment? LOL People talk all the time at work anyway. I wouldn't worry about their talking.
As far as his masturbation, it MAY be due to abuse as a child. Does it interfere with your intimacy? Is your sex life ok, or is it pretty rotten? I would talk with the therapist about these issues, if you haven't already. You haven't really mentioned anything that would lead to mistrust. Why don't you trust him? You haven't said that he stays out all night, or calls women, or texts women, etc. Why don't you trust him? The fact that he masturbates doesn't really mean you can't trust him. I don't get it really. Maybe there's more to it. ??? Talk to your therapist -- but right now he sounds pretty trust-worthy. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee |
|
#3
Jun 24, 2012, 01:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I don't trust him because he lies about everything!! He lied about the conversation with the lesbian. If its nothing why lie about it? Ya know what i mean? I found deleted texts in his cell and asked about it. He said that he had had an inappropriate convo with someone. I didn't say it he did!!!! So then he said he couldn't remember... now a month later im finding out what the texts were. I was kinda surprised that he would hid it and for so long. The masturbation bothers me cause when i was a child i had a situation with someone(family member) who tied me to a chair and masturbated behind me. And to this day i think its disqusting and de-meaning I HATE IT!! But i coming to realise that it is natural and that just because he does it doesn't mean he can hurt me (the same way) when i was a child. Its taking some work but Im def trying to give him some space about it...
__________________
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. ---Robert Frost |
|
#4
Jun 29, 2012, 01:12 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
The masturbation is normal as long as it is not taking the place of you in his sexual life......... we all need sex some times when our partners are not available.
BUT - the to lie to the one you are supposed to love and care about is not acceptable and IF he will lie today he will lie tomorrow...... walk with caution. 
|
|
#5
Jun 29, 2012, 02:05 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Well, that's different if he's lying. You ddn't mention the lies! I'd be very careful too. if there's nothing to it, then why lie? Doesn't make sense to me.
And he does NOT have to make it KNOWN that he's maturbating either! I sure hope he's not doing it in front of you!  I'd keep an eye on this one. Somethings screwy here.  Best of luck & keep us posted. Hugs, Lee |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
