Why mom?

Hi. My mom and I have been having the worst time lately. She's made me cry the past three days and I'm not really a crier... She's been treating me horribly all summer. I'm like the permanent babysitter for my new little brother this summer, but she's treated me more like an employee than a daughter. I don't know why the people closest to you can hurt you the most. I know she's been having a hard time lately and I've tried so hard to be understanding, but she keeps saying no one even tries to understand her and we're all unappreciative.

Today I wanted her to hear my new song that I posted on youtube, so I turned down the volume on the radio so she could hear it. She got mad and turned the radio back up saying she was listening to that. I told her I was just trying to let her hear my song and she started yelling saying I was rude, selfish, and unappreciative. I don't know how to feel about this. It hurts so much when I try so hard to be the daughter she wants me to be. I can't stand this anymore...

It really hurts to hear that your mother feels this way about you.

You say this is a new baby? Perhaps she has Post-partum depression. That can be quite normal for a new mother. Many women suffer from that and it's very REAL. She should talk to her doctor about this, as it can be quite serious, and she may need some therapy or medication.

Has she ever acted like this before? Does she have a history of depressioon or other mental illness? Please try to be understanding right now. if this IS post=partum depression, it USUALLY goes away, but not always. She does need treatment. Suggest that she call her doctor, because she IS miserable! I hope she calls!

God bless and please keep us posted. Hugs, Lee

I'm so sorry you're being treated like this. Many warm safe hugs going your way (but not too warm, cause it so dang hot out...). I'm sorry I don't have much advice to offer. I was just wondering if maybe she has postpartum depression... You mention that it's a new baby, and anger can be a result of depression turned outward. I don't have any experience with postpartum so I could be way off here. Could you talk to your dad/the baby's dad to see if he can encourage her to get help or see a doctor? The reason I don't really recommend you trying to do it yourself is because that can cause a backlash of "What do you know? You're just a kid! I don't need help!"

Anyways, just wanted to send you safe thoughts and support your way. I hope things improve for you soon!

She does have post-partum depression. I'm the only one who listens to her about it and understands what she is going through, yet she yells at me and acts like I don't support her or anything... I've tried to encourage her to get help. I'm going to a therapist on Tuesday and if I like him mom was thinking about doing the same, so I hope she will. I'm 20 and I'm studying music therapy, so I've taken so many psych classes not to mention I study it for fun, so she listens, but I just can't take this... I want to keep helping and being understanding, but it's hard when she's contributing to my own problems.

As a mother of four myself, oldest being 17 and youngest 4, I have to say that sometimes I forget how much my oldest still needs me...but I love her dearly. I'm sorry you're struggling with this, and perhaps it is in face post partum.

Good luck

Thank you so much for your response. I just wish my mom and I were more compatible with each other. Her frustrations just set off my own and it's like a never ending war between the two of us.

It is hurtful for a mother, who is supposed to be nurturing and loving, to make you cry. You are doing a lot for your mother, I know that she loves you and appreciate you, but her condition doesn't let her show it. Don't let her actions see yourself as less of a good daughter. You seem so understanding and you do more than any mother could ask for

I know this must be really tough on you right now. You are still young, trying to help your mom and still learning about your ADD as well. I don't know much about post pardom, but I know from current experience that a woman's hormones can really affect their behavior. My wife is not at "The Change" yet, but her cycles are preceeded by 10X the hormones she used to have and REALLY struggles the week before she starts. Now add to the mix my fairly recent ADD diagnosis which has been a roller coaster because she really does not believe ADD had much to do with our problems and our teenage daughter had a major downward spiral this year. My daughter was always rock solid, never a worry about her, but she slipped into a major depression and even cut herself. My wife did not understand, the kids have everything, live in a nice house, every toy they ever wanted, what could be wrong?!? I have made it my mission to learn everything I could about ADD, so I could spot it in my 2 girls and hopefully save them from decades of not knowing what they were dealing with. My wife and daughter just rubbed each other wrong and communication was just terrible between them. I was able to keep my daughter talking and we have a great relationship. My Non-ADDer wife was so distraught over what was wrong with our daughter that she "bit her lip" while asking if I thought our daughter had ADD. My first thought was no, but suddenly my gears started turning and I starting putting together her traits and my daughter was so much like me I didn't realize it. Vyvanse completely turned things around for her.

Sorry for the ramble (Adderall is long gone) but you probably aren't doing anything wrong. You mom may just be completely over-whelmed and lashing out at you because you are there. Hopefully your meeting with the "T" will go well and your mom will go see the "T" too. You are dealing with a lot learning about your ADD and going to school. Your mom is dealing with a lot too. Try to look past her lashing out as best you can and remember the anger is just "The tip of the Iceberg" and the other 90% of emotions/pain/hormones are under the water and really behind what you are unfortunately receiving.

Hang in there

Thank you very much for all of the support. I know she loves me and I love her too... we just have issues with communication I guess...