[lastyearisblank]

Me and my boyfriend are usually a team.

We went to a comedy show tonight where one of the jokes was about domestic violence. Nobody really laughed. But after the show, my boyfriend defended the comic saying it was funny.

Well, it wasn't funny to me!!!!!!

I got very steamed and left the restaurant, boycotting the rest of the show. My boyfriend wanted to stay.

The problem is I can't even look at him right now. I can't bear to.

I can't feel comfortable and safe with him now.

I know he is not violent but feeling that he is not on my side is upsetting in a way I will never be able to explain.

[iliketherain]

I'm sorry for what you're going through, and that he was completely insensitive.

Did anything ever come of this?

I wish you luck and if you're in a situation that feels unsafe, please be weary and do not hesitate to leave.

[Vibe]

I would step back and try to put this in perspective. For some people who've been through a traumatic event, any mention of those events without the utmost sensitivity is offensive. There's just too much pain associated with the memories.

But for somebody who's never experienced that event, would not be prone to doing those things, and has no connection whatsoever to the topic; there is no similar frame of reference. For them a joke is a joke and nothing more. Many people who have been through terrible events and have processed it can also find the humor without it triggering them. Or they use humor to cope.

So he might be on your side about domestic violence in general. But we all bring different life experiences to the table and different ways of coping with those experiences. You can talk it out with him if you are both the 'talking it out' types, to find where your differences are and maybe develop some empathy and understanding. However, it might just be something you have to accept in him and something he has to accept in you. If things are otherwise good, I wouldn't let a difference of opinion about comedy get in the way.