[dolphingirl]

Why can't my mom just come out and say that she isn't going to monetarily support me any more instead of taking my money promising to repay it months on end and not then, not paying bills of mine she used to without telling me she didn't pay them. Instead of my phone being turned off, me realizing this and paying the bill, informing my mom it was turned off and her reply being "oh, I must not have any money in that bank account. I'll pay it in a week". Well I already payed it. Or I'll give you money to get your car tag, not giving me money for it, then me being 30 dollars short for the tag/registration and more "promises" of being given the money. Some thing with car insurance. She used to pay for my eye dr. appointment and contacts, but it was just not getting paid. I just wish she could say, "You're financially independent now. Don't plan on getting any of the money I took from you back and plan on paying all of your bills and everything you want by yourself." I just think that would be easier that keep holding on to the "promise" of I'll pay you back that has been going on since the beginning of May. If I know I have to pay for all of these things that she said she would/used to ahead of time, I can plan so I have enough money. Why can't she just say that? It would make things so much easier.

[Leed]

I don't know how old you are, but if you're out of school, and have a job, then why aren't you paying all your own bills anyway? If you have the money to do it, you SHOULD be paying your bills.

And from now on, don't let Mom borrow any more money -- just tell her that you NEED that money for your bills. Obviously she isn't going to pay you back, which stinks in my book. I'm sure she'd make YOU pay back what you borrowed, right? Or maybe not, I don't know. But you need the money for your bills, so don't let her borrow any more.

It's not so easy being independent -- or as independent as you CAN be -- I assume you're living at home?? So make it easy, and just pay your own bills. Best of luck & take care! God bless. Hugs, Lee

[shezbut]

Hi dolphingirl,

It sounds to me as though you are an adult. I'd recommend not waiting for her to speak up ~ instead YOU can simply expect your mom not to pay your bills. When she comes to you about not having enough $ to do this or that, then you can tell her that it's okay. Tell her that you've got your bills, and she can pay her bills.

If money is tight for your mom, and she's needing to borrow money, then maybe you can try to come up with ideas with your mom to make money. Like having a yard sale/s, bake sale/s, getting a PT job to get a little extra money.

Very best wishes to you!

[dolphingirl]

Ok, I'm 18, have been in college for two years and I live on campus. I do have a job, but it's 20 hours a week at 7.25 and they take out taxes, so not much. I also pay for school which is quite expensive. Over the past two years, I've taken 16-20 credit hours at a time with at least a lab, while working the 2nd year, being involved and with good grades. The first year, she was paying my school bill with my child support. The second year, she was doing the same, but a few days before it the money was due, she told me I had to pay it myself, but she still kept the child support though I wasn't living at home. I hope that better explains it, so it doesn't seem like I'm just a spoiled adult kid.

[shezbut]

No dolphingirl,

It doesn't sound as though you're spoiled.

Have you tried applying for grants and scholarships? I got both through my junior year of college, and didn't have to pay until my senior year began. That's when I took out school loans ~ because my parents couldn't afford to contribute to my advanced education. It was my responsibility.

Things do become more complicated in that you have a child which requires childcare during school and some studying. Have you tried getting some financial support from the father of your child, or the county in which you live?I would recommend doing so, if you haven't already. No reason why you should have to bear 100% of the cost!

I do wish you the best ~ hope that things go well in school for you.

[dolphingirl]

Yes, I have federal/state grants, an academic scholarship, and loans. School's just expensive. I don't have a child, I was the child, my parents were divorced so my dad was giving my mom child support for me. My mom was using it to pay the school bill until last fall when she up and told me a few days before the bill was due that it was my responsibility to pay, but she still got my child support from my dad. I just wish that she would admit that she's got no clue when she'll pay back the money she took from me and that I should just plan on being completely independent.

[shezbut]

Okay dolphingirl,

So, are you saying that you're mom mis-spent the money provided to her (by your dad) for child support??

Do you ever see or communicate with your father?

Regarding the law, your mom is responsible for spending the money sent for child support on YOU. The fact that she withheld some of the child support from you is wrong. It's one thing if she's using the money to pay your bills, buy your clothes, and pay school expenses. If, however, your mom isn't living up to her end of the bargain, she is financially liable.

I understand that school is expensive ~ I've been there myself and had to pay for it out of my pocket as well. That's why I specifically recommended applying for grants and scholarships. There are SO many different scholarships available! Do you have a good GPA? What's your major, and career goal/s? Those topics are clearly taken into consideration when applying for scholarships. Some only want to accept those majoring in ___ and they are, say: native - American (or some other nationality). Or the giver wants the scholar to have made it through an exceptional experience in their lives. Look up the various opportunities, that's my advice in that department.

Are you attending an expensive university? Do you work part-time, to help boost funds? I worked at the student business office a few hours 3-4 days per week, to help myself get by. I also attended my local community college, until I was a Junior, to decrease my need for high funds. I made it up until my Senior year, without needing a loan, thank goodness! Those college loans aren't difficult to get (thankfully), but they are extremely tough to get rid of if something does happen to you ~ and you go bankrupt or become disabled. (That's where I am right now. Permanently disabled, but the government won't accept that until a solid 3 years proves my case ~ kind of stressful.)

((hugs))