[kris0220]

Hello everyone... I am really having a difficult time. It's not that long since I am out of a really bad relationship. Thought I was over it ( emotional abuse, controlling) but I found out I am not. My new boyfriend is great but we took things really fast. I am facing all these feelings caused by my ex. It affects how I see myself, how I feel, how I see everything in life. I don't want to feel as bad as I do. I am having a bad time getting through it and over it. My boyfriend does a few things that reminds me of my ex. I talk to him about it but he will not change all of his actions. I don't even know if it would be too late and he already blew his chance. So confused and lost and broken.... I do not have anyone in my life who i trust completely. Any advice please.

[Jan1212]

You may need more time by yourself to straighten some things out before getting into a relationship, unless he is there willing to help you every single step of the way. It's right that you communicated with him about your issues.. but You can't force a person to change...otherwise nobody is going to be happy. Don't rely on other people, rely on yourself, thats the most important thing. I have been there, I look for help outside of myself and need reassurance from others, because I can't see myself through my BF, my life is about me I don't know how to explain, it's a lifelong issue for me, it's tough

[kris0220]

Thank you Jan your advice. have been talking with my current boyfriend. The situation is so much more complicated than I could get into quickly... I am focusing now on my health which is affected by the problems from my past. I do not feel as tho I can do this on my own and have tried to get help. This has not gone well for me yet. I hope that will change soon...something needs to give for me. I have come here for a little support as I can not rely completely on anyone around here right now. I really do appreciate your input... Another person's point of veiw helps me to see things different. I am so amazed at how much my ex's actions have affected my life now. I do not see or talk to him... He can not contact me anymore. It was just a few messages from him that made me go down this hill I am trying to climb up again. All the bad emotions came back full force times ten...... THANK YOU again!!! I hope you have a wonderful day

[Leed]

Jan is absolutely right. I'm glad you talked with your current BF about this, but like Jan said, he can't change to meet all your "demands." LOL None of us can completely change for someone else. Wouldn't that be great if we could make our significant other change for us?

You need more time to get thru what your ex did to you. I'm not sure getting into anothr relationship so soon was a good idea. But siince you did, hopefully your curren BF will give you the space you need to work thru the issues you have. If he won't it might be time to end it. I do wish you the very best Kris. PLEASE keep posting, and getting everything out. You know that people can be trusted here, and we're ready to listen. God bless you sweetie and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[kris0220]

Oh well... try this again...I just typed a reply and lost it lol... Thank you Lee. As for my current bf: I was open with him from the begining. He always knew what I was going through and still does. I am not demanding that he changes... It is just an adjustment. Things were great. We moved in together and he changed and my ex started calling me...bad timing. He started reminding me of my ex. The pain which I thought was gone came back times ten. It resurfaced. I have alot on my plate right now but just want to work through this pain. I want to let go and move on. My depression is making it difficult to move past this. I am getting help after much serching locally. It is helping me to write things and getting advice from other people. Thank you again Have a great night