[tonyace]

my wife is cheating me of 30 years she thinks i dont know about but i do.i ask her was she in love with another man and an argument broke out about my past.our sex life was ok for a while but i think she has fallen in love with the person,because now i just hear no a lot.trying to cope i dont want to leave her.but im at the end of my rope..:

Hi tonyace - im sorry to hear you're having difficulties in your marriage. Regardless of whether you have proof of the affair you clearly doubt her behaviour - do you think you will continue to do so even if she stops seeing this other man? Trust can't always be rebuilt. Do you still love this woman? It would be a shame if after 30 years you cannot work through these difficulties in therapy - this is a lot of hard work though and needs equal commitment from the pair of you. I would sit down with your wife and ask about how she really feels towards you after all these years - if she doesn't love you anymore i don't know what hope there is for the relationship. At the moment it certainly seem as though she has no respect for you or your feelings so i hope you can both work towards a solution. Whether you stay or go, stick to your resolve and be patient. These things take time. All the best.

[Leed]

Hi Tony ~ I'm sorry you're having marital problems. 30 years is a long time to be together and it would be a shame for you to leave before you have tried everything to save this marriage.

First, are you SURE she is cheating or do you just "think" she is. Do you have proof? Have the two of you sat down and calmly talked about this? Has she said that she was in love with this man? Did she say she wanted a divorce? If she does, then why hasn't she filed for a divorce? Why hasn't she moved out? It doesn't really sound like she's "in love" and ready to end the marriage to me.

It would seem to me that the two of you should go to couples counseling and see what can be done to save this marriage. You should try EVERYTHING -- if she's WILLING -- to save these 30 years of love and committment. If she's not wiling, then I guess you've got your answer.

I wish you the very best Tony. God bless and please keep us posted, will you? We DO CARE. Hugs, Lee