[Cynsal]

I went through child sexual emtional abuse, and neglect from my momsince i can remember the age of 6. When I told her at the age of 13 she along with an older brother and sister slapped me and called me a "Liar" since then whatever came out of my mouth was a lie to them. The "Man" my father embarrassing for me to even say, was the one doing it when his drinking got out of hand. We are 7 siblings well 6 now one brother God Bless him passed from Muscular Dyatrophy at 18. My mom has a problem with favoritism and of coarse I not that one of coarse, one I don't meet her standards I came put brown curly hair brown eyes. God I didn't come out green eyes white complexted what a shame, you know the odd seed but not a good one inherent eyes. Didn't here your beautiful, pretty nothing like that yet I heard it from others so I found it to be that she just didn't Love me. The Man died at age 65 with never admitting to his faults, my mom is now 82 and still treats me the same I am 47 and have to keep away from a big family to avoid getting hurt. They all see me as a bad seed, trouble maker, and will say anything to hurt me. My oldest sister still admits she wish I would have never been born cas I came in and took over her being the only girl. My mom never understood all I wanted was for her to Love me as her Child, all we have is a friendship relationship and even that goes out sometimes. She has always blamed me for what that man did. I have stopped talking to her for the last 3 months and my siblings blame me for moms heart condition at the moment cas I won't talk to her but I can't stand to here her degrade me or call me names anymore I have been at Peace lately is there anything wrong with that? I have made my Peace with God and asked for forgiveness and told him that things are better off this way.

Looking for Peace

[Travelinglady]

Hello, Cynsal, and welcome to Psych Central! My heart really goes out to you. It sounds like you have some insight into why your mom is the way she is--and alas, your siblings sound like they want to stay in her good graces by rejecting you, too.

Sometimes a child can remind a mom physically of someone she really doesn't like, and she reacts viscerally---a gut response. And she lashes out. Or she blames the child for being born at the wrong time, etc.

I'm not sure a mother can exactly ever love her children "equally." But she needs to try to treat each child with the same love and concern. I have two wonderful children and I love them both with all my heart, but they are very different and I love different things about them.

My mom is more attached to me, but it's been an unhealthy attachment. My sibling jokes about always hearing about me from her.

I know your heart breaks over the situation, but we can't change your mom. I had a therapist who worked at "reparenting" me, being the mother I didn't have. Maybe you can seek out a therapist who can help. Plus, we can learn to be our own loving parent to our little hurt selves.

We even have an "adopt a mom" group here you might want to check out. You can join social groups after you make five approved posts.

I don't know if anything I have said has been helpful. But please know that you are not alone in your situation. You might also check out the Survivors of Abuse forum. I'm sure many people there know what it is to be hurt by parents who don't love them as much as they should have.

[Cynsal]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Hello, Cynsal, and welcome to Psych Central! My heart really goes out to you. It sounds like you have some insight into why your mom is the way she is--and alas, your siblings sound like they want to stay in her good graces by rejecting you, too.

Sometimes a child can remind a mom physically of someone she really doesn't like, and she reacts viscerally---a gut response. And she lashes out. Or she blames the child for being born at the wrong time, etc.

I'm not sure a mother can exactly ever love her children "equally." But she needs to try to treat each child with the same love and concern. I have two wonderful children and I love them both with all my heart, but they are very different and I love different things about them.

My mom is more attached to me, but it's been an unhealthy attachment. My sibling jokes about always hearing about me from her.

I know your heart breaks over the situation, but we can't change your mom. I had a therapist who worked at "reparenting" me, being the mother I didn't have. Maybe you can seek out a therapist who can help. Plus, we can learn to be our own loving parent to our little hurt selves.

We even have an "adopt a

mom" group here you might want to check out. You can join social groups after you make five approved posts.

I don't know if anything I have said has been helpful. But please know that you are not alone in your situation. You might also check out the Survivors of Abuse forum. I'm sure many people there know what it is to be hurt by parents who don't love them as much as they should have.

Thank you so mush everything you have said touched me dearly. I have had to come to accept to her or my siblings never changing that is why I stay away; I just wish she would stop calling and harassing me with her unkind word left every time on my voice mail. She then gets sick from yher heart and I get blamed for not talking to her. Thank you for your kind words it sure feels good to know there is someone out there with a beautiful and strong Heart.