[CastlesInTheAir]

Earlier this month a friend invited me on a trip he was taking for work. I said, ok let me know the details.

Me going never came up in conversation again.

The first day he was down there I sent a text in the AM telling him to enjoy the trip, he said thank you. Later on in the afternoon I get a text asking if I wanted to spend a couple nights. I said sure, etc etc. Then later on in this conversation he starts talking about how they dont have a ride back up on Friday because he put his car in the shop before they left and the other dudes car broke down, the other guys gf drove them down.

Sooo, I went down there for a couple nights and of course had no problem driving them back.

Now the way my mind works is.......this convesation would have never taken place if it wasent for them needing a ride....them needing a ride is of no big deal to me.....the part that rubs me wrong is :

A. He asked me at the beginning of the month and never mentioned it again.(he has done things like that before, inviting me places but never following through seriously)
B. it was like he tried to mask the only needing a ride with desiring my company.
C. Why didnt he mention anything about me going before they were leaving and following up on the original invitation????
D. After droppping them off i get told "thank you" like it was just a ride and i didnt go down there to hang out .

if it was just a ride he shoulda just asked for the ride I would have given them a ride ethier way....

am i wrong for thinking this way???

[kindachaotic]

No, sounds like you were "convenient" and taken advantage of.
If tables were turned, would he be there if you needed him?
Either way take good care of yourself.

[Leed]

I think he used you big time. And it was a rotten thing to do! He originally asked you to go, and then never said another word about it. Maybe you should have said something -- but it's too late now. But once he said something about needed a ride, you CERTAINLY should have been invited to STAY.

This is the ultimate in bad manners, and like I said before, he used you big time, and I would NOT do him any favors in the future. He's an ungrateful slob. Does he think you have nothing better to do than chauffeur him around? What a creep.

He's definitely a user and abuser. Steer clear of that one. Take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee

[CastlesInTheAir]

Well he did invite me to stay but everything else is shady...

I mean he was there when i had a debilitating episode but there are things that make me go hmmmm....like i feel like a secret friend last on the list...

[Yoda]

I would not get expectations too high for the relationship right now but he may or may not turn out to be a true friend.

He doesn't sound like much more than a "fair weather friend" or at least one that uses you for convenience for sure. Considering he's mentioned you doing stuff with him before and dropped the ball I see that there seems to be a pattern forming. I'd be careful about letting him continue to call on you for these convenience calls. Don't be a doormat. Sounds like you're a nice person that would do a lot for a friend. Just don't let people abuse your niceness

Hope this helps

[Sojourn]

I would say it is natural to think this way. Is it wrong? I think you need to get some input from your friend in order to determine that.

When it comes to relationships, we tend to assume a lot of things and it's easy to accept that as truth. However, a good relationship, whether it be friendship or romantic, requires clear communication. If you are having doubts about what happened, ask him. Relationships require trust. If he isn't understanding or becomes offended, then maybe he isn't the friend you thought he was. You don't have to accuse him of anything, just let him know how you feel about the situation and get some honest feedback. If this is part of a trend you have been seeing with this friend, then it is definitely time to confront it.

From what you wrote, your friend seems polite and did invite you hang out for a couple days. Sure, there is a lot more he could've done to reassure you but that is often a fault we all have. It looks like you just need to talk things out and let him know what your expectations are. None of this has to be done in a mean or hurtful way. You're friends for a reason, let that guide you. Trust in your friendship and build on it. If this kind of a behavior becomes a habit, then yes, it might be time to re-examine if this friendship is worth it. But deal with that when it becomes a definite problem and talking isn't working anymore. For now, hold onto all the friends you can because they aren't always easy to come by. Good luck to you!