[AngelWolf3]

Ok. So I will be brief...quick history: I have two kids, divorced about 4, almost 5 years ago. The marriage fell apart because he was controlling and I was acting out against that in a not good way.

Anyway, he has forgiven me for cheating, and obviously we still have to have contact due to the kids. Problem is, is that I am at that stage where it's like I don't want to get back with him, but part of me does.

His family has invited me to go on a vacation with them this coming summer (which I am weirded out about, since I thought they hated me), and my family invited him to the Holidays (without my knowledge, but he did come to my grandpa's funeral, so I could see why the invite).

I can't make heads or tails of the situation. I have truly no clue what to do. I hate him, I love him, am I in love with him? (I know only I can answer that question but I really don't think I am)

The thought of anyone being close to me in that physical/mental capacity anyway just makes me shudder. And isn't going back giving in? I don't know. ANY advice would be helpful, even if it is "stop being ungrateful and get over yourself."

I just don't know what to do, it was all so perfect at the beginning, but I don't want to end up hating him again. This is how most of my relationships have gone anyway.

AUGH. Sorry this wasn't as brief as I thought it would be.

[LadyShadow]

Well, since I kind of (know) you on this site already, it would be hard for me not to give you advice since you are so kind to me and acknowledge me when others on this site ignore me.

That being said, relationships are hard. I wouldnt necessarily say go back, because you did cheat like you said, so there has to be a reason why you did it.

If you truly hated him, you wouldnt be second guessing yourself. I say follow your heart. What do you really want to do? Do you get fuzzy feelings thinking about him? Or are you just going back with him for convenience and because its easy?

How do you really feel?

P.S. if you want to get more personal feel free to PM me to talk more if you dont want to post it out here

Hope that was helpful

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

I hate him, I love him, am I in love with him? (I know only I can answer that question but I really don't think I am)

For me, that's enough not to go back. Obviously, its up to you (and your ex).

Has he asked you to get back together, or is it because you've been invited on hols? Just wondering if you may be confusing having your lives entwined because of the kids and real romantic feelings. Kind of stirred up something, if you know what I mean. I hope that was ok to say and I've not offended.

Sounds tho, even if you dont get back together, that you and he have the basis of a good friendship, which is lovely I think. Great for the kids too!

Wish you all the best.

[AngelWolf3]

riotgrrrl, thank you for your reply, and no, you did not offend. He has kind of hinted that he would be willing to try, I agreed to go to some counseling with him at my church, so I am definitely getting (and sending!) mixed signals, I am sure. That is a good thought about getting confused with our lives being entwined because of the kids. I definitely know I would not have kept contact with him had we not had the children.

I appreciate both your and Platinum's responses, and have quite a bit to think about! Thank you for the perspectives!

Best of luck Wolfin, I hope you guys work things out, whichever way it goes :-)