Opening Up

How do you open up to people when you can't trust anyone?

I struggle with this as well. I think it just takes time. I believe that eventually, through words and more importantly actions, you will be convinced that they really do hav good intentions. It has taken me yrs to trust ppl, and I admit that I may hav lost potentional friends becuase of how long it takes me to open up (not evryone is patient enough to wait that long for me).

I afraid of trusting ppl as I am afraid of getting hurt by them. The deeper the trust is, the greater hurt it will cause when they betray you...

Me too. I feel exactly the same way, and I am trying to work through these things with my therpist. But I'm still stuck at the point of even being able to trust my t. So I hav a long way to go...

Slowly. Very slowy.

I have really had a tough time with this for MANY years ~ and I still struggle! I'm starting to believe that I may need to forgive before I can truly open myself up to others.

That said, I am finally at the point of therapy in which I'm willing to share very intimate and important parts of my life. I do it in little pieces though. Not opening up long sagas in every visit. Rather, sharing a piece of my history that brings up shame and self-hate....we then talk about the effect this memory has upon me. These events occurred, yes, but they do not define who I am. I need to work on accepting my past as simply that ~ my past, and now, work through my feelings so I can move forward in life.

If the guilt was reasonable, then they recommend apologizing. However, when the issue is shame, and you theorhetically "know" that you're not supposed to feel shame, that's when radical acceptance is what's needed. For me, that is absolutely the hardest part! I can honestly say that I've been able to do it with forgiving my sexual abuser (uncle in-law) as a teen ~ many years later though. So, I know that radical acceptance can be done. I think that it's harder to do on the closer and deeper relationships. As I am unable to forgive others in my family for abuse and/or denial. Personally, I think that it's the denial that really hurts me. As there were other abusive incidents in my family, which they all completely deny. That brings up a lot of emotions within me!

Have you been betrayed or have you never let anyone get that close? (If I may ask?)

I share easily but I trust nobody (unfortunately, not even my parents). I always seem to think the worst of people that way I am never disappointed.

It infects your work, friends, dating, sex....everything! It's not a good way to go through life but you have to risk it for the reward.

When I was younger I trusted to everyone. Especially trusted to those who didn't deserve it at all. I was disappointed so many times but still, I couldn't lose my trust in people.

That changed two years ago when in a short period of time I lost trust in about 10 people, including family members and close friends. So now, I can't open up easily. I can't trust anyone. Not even my mother.

That happened to me too. The person whom I trusted the most in the whole world, turned out to cause me the greatest hurt. I don't really talk much in therapy unless I am asked. I prefer to write so that I am saved from seeing at his expressions when I do confide...

Interesting discussion here about trust.

I have a kind of 'it is what it is' attitude towards personal information about me. It can feel uncomfortable being vulnerable but I really don't see what it is that can be done about some things.

When I am in public, I make no effort to cover the SI scars on me, and if someone asks (not that it's any of their business) I tell them the truth. Nothing can be done about those scars unless I am to forever wear covering clothing. When I donate blood at the clinic, the staff stare at me, people look at me weird, and then life moves on.

I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome as well. People have treated me differently for that, have insulted me, and it scares prospective women away, but, again, there is little I can do about it, and life moves on. Actually, I have taken to wearing a shirt that identifies me on the autism spectrum, and while it might be uncomfortable for others to so visibly flaunt their condition(s), it is a part of who I am and it will continue to be regardless of what others think.

Always being hidden and afraid of others is like a fungal rot inside of me, and I suppose that I have been hurt so much (even institutionalized) that I feel strong enough to be able to endure whatever hurt others might cause me.

I think this was poorly explained and unhelpful

There is such a shirt? I want one too. Haha

Slowly and a little at a time, I am the total opposite I trust and open up to everyone which is kinda bad too ya know lol but just maybe open up about something pretty small to one or two people, and just go from there hunny good luck...

I think this was explained perfectly
You are so right, we are who we are and we should not let fear of judgement from others make us feel bad or inferiour. I think it takes courage to be yourelf flaws and all, we should all be more honest about who we are.
Thanks for the post you have realy inspired me.
never stop being honest about you