Take a hint and go away?
Insult them back and cause an argument?
Say nothing and get depressed?
Laugh at them? (I don't know if I can do this.)

I am a dour person. I have a lot of issues (emotionally and physically) and have always had a hard tiime making and keeping friends and jobs.

I seem to have ADHD and, in order to keep track of things, focus very hard. I misinterprete people easily and have difficulty with conversation.

It seems that no one wants me around. I isolate almost all the time.

((((Uhg)))) who in the world would dare to insult you? The jealous? The envious? The people that lack manners or any sense of decorum? It seems to me those that hurl insults are the most ignorant and uninformed.

You strike me as a very intelligent, caring, resourceful, interesting person with much to offer.

The people that insult you and doing it on purpose to try to hurt you, get a reaction out of you because they feel badly about themselves.. In reality, they are insignificant and don't deserve the time of day from you. They just dont matter.

Pity those that are missing out on YOU, for you matter. It is their loss. Focus on the ones that bring light to your life.

Thanks Rose for your kind words. Unfortunately, the insults are a long-standing pattern. I don't seem to fit in or be wanted anywhere.

[Open Eyes]

((((unhappyguy))),

Well, you are really not alone in feeling that way tbh.

I used to be "so shy" and wondered about "fitting in" too. And the times I would speak up were when I saw someone else being "picked on and disrespected". I have realized now "why" and that is because I "knew their pain" very well, I was the youngest of three and was "always" overpowered, and in bad ways too.

I still tend to stand up for those that are "unfairly treated or bullied" or "neglected", and often I stand alone too. I think I am at a point where I am so much older that I just don't "care" anymore and realize that there are alot of "cruel" and selfish people in the world who just "jump on anyone that is different or has a different opinion as well".

The true secret unhappyguy is that you have to find your way to "self care and respect" and when you do that, people can "sense it" and they often even "respect" it too. There are always going to be those that look for anyone they can "belittle" simply because they "need" to put others down due to their "lack" and to try to "self empower" the cheap way.

Unfortunately it is "very primitive" and in all mammels to find one that is "the low one on the totem pole that they can pick on". We call it the "pecking order" but it is always "there".

My "nicest" and best pony was the one that was "low man on the totem pole" and I actually look for that in a herd of horses or ponies because that is the one that will be good with "children" and also be "extremely loyal". Ofcourse I kept all my ponies and horses "separate" so that none of them would be stressed out by the others picking on them.

So a "quality" person is not always the one that has the biggest braun or voice, I tend to look for that as well.

So, don't let yourself down because this happens to you, it really doesn't mean you have no "value" as a person.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

(((unhappyguy))) ...

I don't understand - and never will - how and why people can be so cruel.

I have only a handful of victories I can count along the way ... I told a guy who called me fat one time that I'd rather be fat than stupid ... To which he went "Huh?" ... And I stated "Exactly!" and walked away.

And then another time (when I was a cashier) a guy called me a dyke in front of a bunch of customers and I told him "Yeah, and a lesbian from the artic is a Klondike!" ... To which all the other people standing in line started laughing and hooting at him so loud he slunk off in embarrassment.

Other than that, most of the time I just quietly walk away if it's directed at me ... I tend to stand up and defend others quicker and better than I do myself though.

Mean People Suck! ... And I wish we didn't have to be exposed to them on a regular basis ... Toxic Slugs ... !!!

,
Pfrog!

I realize that not everyone is going to like or accept you. That's when you tell yourself, "who the fluck cares?!" And then you move on, obviously they weren't worth talking to.

Originally Posted by Nikole2718

I realize that not everyone is going to like or accept you. That's when you tell yourself, "who the fluck cares?!" And then you move on, obviously they weren't worth talking to.

I need to be liked and accepted. I need it desperately.

I am disliked almost everywhere.

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

I need to be liked and accepted. I need it desperately.

I am disliked almost everywhere.

Except here, I accept you...everyone here does, Isn't that enough for now? Like I said the people who don't accept are not worth being around.

[sabby]

(((( unhappyguy ))))

I think when people are insulting it's a reflection on them, not on the individual being insulted. They are the ones with small minds and little understanding or compassion for others.

If I'm even wanting to waste my breath on someone who is insulting and I usually say, "well, that's your opinion and you're welcome to it." and I walk away. I also will say, "your opinion of me, is none of my business", then I'll smile and walk away...lol.

The only time I truly care what others think are those that I love and love me, or times when I'm looking for input/thoughts/ideas about something I wish to do. Other than that, I do not care what others think of me. I am not here on this earth to please everyone, it just can't be done and I'm not going to kill myself trying to do that. It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, as I used to worry what others thought all the time.

unhappyguy, remember that those of us who are "different" and don't fit into the mainstream of society are always going to be picked on/insulted in some way shape or form. It certainly does not mean that you aren't a good person, or a good member of society, just different. I for one applaud different, it's what makes the world go round!

((((unhappy)))))

This is something I had to deal with most of my life from my sister, I used to see her most weekends until I snapped at her, She would insult me all the time and yet I would take it from her, she would say things like "your hair is a mess" You look fat" You have put weight on" Your clothes don't suit you" etc... But I kept going back for more, I blame her a lot for my low self esteem and low confidence.

One day I had booked a holiday and she flipped at me,I really didn't know why only when I thought about it that I thought maybe she was jealous? So when I saw her next time she was still going go about this holiday that I had booked, I then had a massive argument with her and told her that I am fed up with her insults, Of cause she didn't like what I said and twisted everything that I said and people believed her because she sounds so convincing, Anyway we hardly talk now and that was almost 3 years ago, She has got what she wants now, People not talking to me.

I do think it's down to jealousy with these people I really do, I put up with my sister for years constantly insulting me.

((((Tink)))) I think we have the same family member

[Hellion]

Tend to take them way to personally and then internalize it, to be repeated over and over again later in my mind.

[pegasus]

How do you deal with insults?

Really good question! I always find myself feeling totally dumbstruck and unable to say anything back.

[shezbut]

I typically say nothing and get depressed. If I'm feeling feisty, I will stand up for myself, but that doesn't happen very often. Insults are emotionally crushing to me.

Originally Posted by pegasus

[b]I always find myself feeling totally dumbstruck and unable to say anything back.

Yes! I am the same way. I also take them personally and often get depressed. I am not good at power games.

Since I suffer from c-PTSD, I have a tendency to freeze and not be able to speak in response to insults. I just lack the ability to be spontaneous. I have been reading a self-help book about this "freezing" problem. I have had it for years. I am like a deer frozen in the headlights of an oncoming car. It could also be my inability to listen to what they are really trying to say. I generally do listen but don't acknowledge it well. Still, I don't know. The bottom line is that, since I lack the ability to be verbally spontaneous, I usually don't reply at all to insults. I don't know what is more frustrating - what they say or my inability to reply.