How to handle situation with jealous sister

I have a 46 year old sister who is very jealous and has a very strong and manipulative personality, affecting our entire family. She gets jealous when something good happens to others. She spreads lies and gossips about us to friends and relatives. But when she is in a good mood, she can be very nice and helpful too.


When she got divorced, she moved to my mom´s home with her kids. Since then, my mom has devoted completely to them; but even though, my sister gets jealous when my mother spends time with other children or grandchildren. Mom is confronting health problems related to anxiety due to all of this. Our family used to be very closed-knit.



My husband and I are getting 50 in January and we are planning a family trip with our kids. But we have everything on hold because we don´t know how to make the announcement; we know for sure that she will start a new episode with any other excuse and it will affect my mother´s health. We even considered asking her to go with us but, last time she ruined our vacation.


I really appreciate any ideas on how to handle this situation and others to come.

i personally would just go ahead with the holiday (without thought for her) coz your kids deserve it! i'm sorry to sound harsh but her problems are not yours or your moms. at best imo all you can do is tell her she needs to grow up and get help! she's making your mom ill and stressing you ALL out and she needs a straight talk.

sorry if this is not what you wish to hear but it's just my opinion.

hoping for you and your kids the holiday goes ahead and is much fun .... and wishing respite for your mom

Carrie ann is right. She needs to grow up and get help for her issues. Someone needs to speak up to her or she's gonna continue to wreak havoc on your lives. Nothing is going to stop her unless someone is finally tough on her.

Don't walk on eggshells for your sister. Make your announcement as you would normally and don't hold yourself back because she's self-centered and will throw a fit. If she does you just stand up to her and put her in her place. Seems like just from wht you've said she's been catered to by your family for far too long. Just your considering taking her to "keep her at bay" tells me this is probably a behavior your family has exhibited for a long time - working around her issues. Don't do that anymore!! Especially don't even think about taking her on your own family trip. No way.