[BrokenLight]

I'm going to Thanksgiving at my mothers house. I really don't want to go, but I have a neice flying in from California whom I have not seen in four years that wants to see me, so I will.

My mother is abusive towards me. I'm the disapointment in the family. She never skips a chance to compare me to my sister who's 28 and never tried a drug or to my sister who's 16 and still a virgin. I have enough regrets as it is. She's constantly insulting me, telling me I'm unloved, a slut, annoying, worthless, stupid, a cotton shooter (this a very derogatory term where I live. Cotton is used to filter heroin. It refers to a desperate heroin addict that injects cotton residue to save their life.) and scum. She's also said things about my physical appearance, like "You look like a chemo patient" or "If you ate an entire house, you'd still be under weight".

I haven't gave her a reason to hate me so much. I always bite my tongue when she says these things. The only time I've ever stood up for myself was in 8th Grade when I got a C on my math assignment and she kicked me.

The only time she was proud of me was when I went to rehad about two years ago. Now I need to go back and it's not hard to tell. :'(

I don't know what to do or if I should even go. Any advice?

[ShaggyChic_1201]

If you only want to see your niece, why not make arrangments to meet with her separately and skip what looks to be another horrible encounter with your mother? Even if you couldn't see the niece, I'd still not go. She sounds like a monster.

Best of luck to you and hope you are getting help for your addiction issues.

[edward6]

In my case, it was my father who was always verbally abusive, which was so damaging to my psyche until I realized how mentally ill he was, and that wisdom helped me to forgive him...sort of. I recently decided to go to a class reunion where I knew many people would deprecate me, but there were those who appreciated my presence, and I was able to shrug off those who are so self-righteous.

[gma45]

Maybe you are a lot like she was at one time, and that might be why she is so mean. She sees herself! No one is perfect but I am sorry she is just down right nasty to you, that is just not right no matter what. I would go but just try to stay away from her as much as possible and maybe meet with your niece somewhere else where you and her could visit without your mom. Guess I wouldn't stay to long if it were me. I hope for the best for you. take care.