[pieceofabrokenheart]

so hi everyone.
im suffering from depression right now and i dont know if its this thats making my depression worse or my depression making the pain worse but here goes...this is kind of the short version because our history is so immense. but...

im in love with my best friend, and this is a massively long story so ill give the shorter version. Basically, i was still with my ex when i started falling for my bff. It was always us two, through all of his girls through all of my guys and about a year ago i fell in love with him and we started to see each other after i broke it off with my ex. We acted like a couple, did everything as a couple but were never one. And i did everything for him. Last week he apologized for everything and told me how in love he is with me and how he doesnt want to lose me. How he has to break off some things and then we'll be together. i tried to forget him and then he tells me all that stuff and this has been the messiest and most beautiful mess ive ever been in. i cant fully explain how i feel because there is no words. But it hurts just as much becuase im commited to a guy who im not in a relationhip with becuase of a promise we will be together soon. i guess i feel worthless and not good neough sometimes. four years slowly falling for him and he still isnt mine. i guess im here wiating with no safety net and thats too much for me sometimes because im always used to having a safety net and with him, theres no one i want that safety net with. Its the first time ive never given my everythign to a guy and ive never felt this way either...not even with my ex whom i was with for four years.

i guess i just feel alone and i just want some support and some guidance because my depression worsens everyday

[Leed]

What do you mean you're "committed to a guy you're not in a relationship with." That doesn't even make sense. If you're not in a relationship with him how can you be committed to him? Forget him. Go on with your best friend whom you love, and be happy. What's the other guy going to do, kill you? I doubt it.

Unless you're living in another country where your parents arranged a marriage to another man for you -- that's different. Then, I don't know what to tell you. I guess I would PLEAD with my parents to get me out of it so I could be with the man that I loved.

I wish you the very best. Please take care & God bless. Hugs, Lee