It may sound strange, but I don't really feel like I am worthy of a new relationship.
My lack of action with regard to my anxiety and depression completely destroyed my family. My ex is happy that we are able to be friends, but she has already begun to date someone else and told me that there is absolutley no way on this earth that we are getting back together.
To be completely honest, I am OK with that. I have not been attracted to her in quite some time because of personality and physical issues. But she is the mother of our amazing daughter, and I will always adore her for that. She really is an awesome mother too.
So now I am wondering how and where I am going to meet someone new. I don't even feel worthy of a new relationship since I have my issues with depression and anxiety...I self loathe, self depricate, get down on myself and can't stop, I see the negative in everything I do, after screwing up I say to myself yet again "I can't do anything right!" and so on.
Who wants to date a guy like that?!?
I have been told more than a few times that I am a handsome man. My ex tells me that I get better looking as I am getting older (going to be 47 soon) and that I will find someone soon. Another aquaintance recently told me "you are a very handsome man, you won't be single very long"
I wish I had the self confidence to believe that.
I am not going to singles groups, I am sure as heck not looking in bars or clubs, and besides all that, with Alimony and Child support, I am fricking broke!
But I am desperate for a human touch....a loving woman to hold and cuddle with, to have companionship with, to make love with. I have so much love to give and I don't want to waste time with the dating scene.
Match? Christian Mingle? Craigs list? None of those seem appealing either.
Any advice y'all could give would be greatly appreciated!

[di meliora]

Hello, SpiritOfAStorm. What does your treatment team say?

Well my T says that it takes time to heal and get my depression under control and then I should be able to sustain a relationship.
When I posted that, I was in a position of being down and not happy.
I have had my power nap and getting ready to go out with my ex and my daughter to get groceries for the Christmas dinner we are going to have together, so right now I am up and hopeful.
Time will see how it all turns out of course, but I see another relationship as off in the distance, even though I really need one NOW.