[nightstriker]

One of the things that bothers me most about myself right now is that I sometimes feel like I need to lie to impress people. Let me start of by saying these are never big lies just small things so I have a story to tell to make my life more interesting. I think this goes back to my time in high school it was very difficult for me to make friends and I was picked on quite a bit. I think I sort of developed this habit as a defense mechanism from being picked on and as a way to try and make friends. Within the last year or so I've become aware of how often it happens. I've also started to notice that now that I am out of high school I don't need to lie to make friends or protect myself anymore. The problem is I can't seem to shake the habit. It really bothers me and I know this will eventually lead to me not having any friends at all. Does anyone else have problems like this and any tips on how to shake the habit? Any help anyone could offer would be greatly appreciated. I really want to end this habit.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2

I don't do this. But I can offer ideas as to what I think might help you. But first of all, I want to say that I commend you on your honesty here about this and your recognizing that you need to change it. Do the friends you lied/lie to really like you for who you are? Hard to say if part of their image of you is false, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Likely they'd like you and still be friends with you for you but you gotta come clean with that. The rewarded real friendships will be worth it.

Find one or more of your friends that you've been closest to, one you trust the most and start with them first. Start small and begin revealing the truth about yourself. If it's a person you trust, most likely they are the ones that will be the most accepting of your weaknesses. As you learn that one or two people that still are accepting of you, I imagine your motivation and courage to be more honest with others will grow stronger. I think the key, I must emphasize is finding that one person that you're close enough to that you can tell anything to and start with them.

You can do this. I have faith in you. *hugs*

[nightstriker]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I don't do this. But I can offer ideas as to what I think might help you. But first of all, I want to say that I commend you on your honesty here about this and your recognizing that you need to change it. Do the friends you lied/lie to really like you for who you are? Hard to say if part of their image of you is false, no matter how insignificant it may seem. Likely they'd like you and still be friends with you for you but you gotta come clean with that. The rewarded real friendships will be worth it.

Find one or more of your friends that you've been closest to, one you trust the most and start with them first. Start small and begin revealing the truth about yourself. If it's a person you trust, most likely they are the ones that will be the most accepting of your weaknesses. As you learn that one or two people that still are accepting of you, I imagine your motivation and courage to be more honest with others will grow stronger. I think the key, I must emphasize is finding that one person that you're close enough to that you can tell anything to and start with them.

You can do this. I have faith in you. *hugs*

I've gotten this advice before. And I have trouble doing this. The problem probably goes beyond lying. To this day I don't feel I could trust anyone enough to tell them about this problem. Which is why I came here. No one knows me no one here could use any vulnerability I have against me. I've had a lot of instances in the past where I try to confide in someone and its been used against me. I really appreciate the suggestion though and if anyone comes along that I feel comfortable enough with I might try it. I'm kind of hoping talking about it a little here first might help me reach a point where I am comfortable discussing it with a close friend.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2

Originally Posted by nightstriker

I've gotten this advice before. And I have trouble doing this. The problem probably goes beyond lying. To this day I don't feel I could trust anyone enough to tell them about this problem. Which is why I came here. No one knows me no one here could use any vulnerability I have against me. I've had a lot of instances in the past where I try to confide in someone and its been used against me. I really appreciate the suggestion though and if anyone comes along that I feel comfortable enough with I might try it. I'm kind of hoping talking about it a little here first might help me reach a point where I am comfortable discussing it with a close friend.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2

If you do not have a T, you might consider one. from what you described in your subsequent post, it seems the lying is deeper than just a simple dishonesty problem. With a T you can get to the root of why you are hesitant to trust people with the real you and this may help to give you more courage to come to a friend and start on the right path.

I am sure talking to people here will help tremendously but I truly think a good T will help all the more

[nightstriker]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

If you do not have a T, you might consider one. from what you described in your subsequent post, it seems the lying is deeper than just a simple dishonesty problem. With a T you can get to the root of why you are hesitant to trust people with the real you and this may help to give you more courage to come to a friend and start on the right path.

I am sure talking to people here will help tremendously but I truly think a good T will help all the more

Started working with a T as well.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 2