It happened on the 17th dec. I wanted so much to go to the party that I been looking forward to since September. Problem is, my family wanted to vacation 4 hours away that day and made me to with them. I tried to protest, but they shot me down, so I went, pretending to enjoy it. On our way there, I got called in to work and I had to say no, since I was already 3 hours away. I woulda loved to be able to say yes and then go in to work, giving me direct access to the party. Instead, since then, I spent all my waking moments in misery, even after getting back home.

I lost my will to live. I sleep 18 hours a day and cut myself. I over eat and sometimes drink a lot. I get short with everyone I meet. And Thursday at work, I felt humiliated seeing my coworkers who been at the party, so I avoided everyone. I couldn't focus. Then during break, I overate again, threw up in the restroom, and felt severely dizzy afterwards. I left work early. Thx god nobody knew that I made myself sick or I'd be screwed! Still, I lost my will to live. Should I find another job?

Also, yesterday, I saw on a coworker's Facebook pictures of the party. Then my performance suffered greatly at work. I couldn't focus, looked sad most of the time, and even cried on the salesfloor fifteen minutes! Omg

[unaluna]

That is a bummer. You have gone thru a lot this past year to even be able to keep this job, and it seems like your family takes that for granted, as if it were easy or not important, by just outvoting you. You ha d a conflict, a genuine family versus work conflict. The last year that I was at my job, my boss told HIS boss to shove it, he was taking his little daughter trick or treating. They made him pay. But you are taking all your anger out on yourself, which is an excellent lesson for us PC'ers, but still something we hate to see. Sometimes you can't be in two places at the same time. You have to make a hard decision. Sometimes it's two things you really want. Maturity is learning to live with your decision. It sux tho.

[optimize990h]

Well don't punish yourself too much. You have to have boundaries to avoid castigating yourself. A balanced view to enjoy today that is why it's called the present!

[Yoda]

As optimize said you need to work on setting boundaries with your family. It isn't easy but you will be happier if you do it.

I am sorry you missed the party this year.

I should set boundaries with my family and not let myself get shot down like the last time.

[Stardusted]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

I should set boundaries with my family and not let myself get shot down like the last time.

I think that's a good idea. It sucks you missed the holiday party but from now on make sure you don't miss any other office parties. Parents can be very controlling and they might do things that hinder your ability to grow up and become independent. Don't let this happen again. Work relationships are important tell that to your family. And if they don't understand then that's their problem. Not yours.

Thx. This is the only place where I got any sympathy. You guys are awesome!

[ElJamo]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

It happened on the 17th dec. I wanted so much to go to the party that I been looking forward to since September. Problem is, my family wanted to vacation 4 hours away that day and made me to with them. I tried to protest, but they shot me down, so I went, pretending to enjoy it. On our way there, I got called in to work and I had to say no, since I was already 3 hours away. I woulda loved to be able to say yes and then go in to work, giving me direct access to the party. Instead, since then, I spent all my waking moments in misery, even after getting back home.

I lost my will to live. I sleep 18 hours a day and cut myself. I over eat and sometimes drink a lot. I get short with everyone I meet. And Thursday at work, I felt humiliated seeing my coworkers who been at the party, so I avoided everyone. I couldn't focus. Then during break, I overate again, threw up in the restroom, and felt severely dizzy afterwards. I left work early. Thx god nobody knew that I made myself sick or I'd be screwed! Still, I lost my will to live. Should I find another job?

Also, yesterday, I saw on a coworker's Facebook pictures of the party. Then my performance suffered greatly at work. I couldn't focus, looked sad most of the time, and even cried on the salesfloor fifteen minutes! Omg

I had a similar experience, though mine was a bit more severe than just missing a dang party! Anyways, it just a party dude! If you're feeling so down, why not see a therapist? Or If this is a regular occurrence you may want to meet with a psychiatrist.

Good luck, and remember, IT"S NO BIG DEAL!

[Rose3]

Originally Posted by ruby2011

Problem is, my family wanted to vacation 4 hours away that day and made me to with them. I tried to protest, but they shot me down, so I went, pretending to enjoy it.

Just wondering what would have been the consequences if you had said "no" to your family's pressure that you go with them?

"they shot me down" was their response to your attempt to protest. So, if you had re-stated your decision not to go with them, - what then?

I prolly woulda stayed in town. And been to the party. Instead, I missed the party against my will, cried on the salesfloor at work, and told 3 coworkers I cut myself, including the team lead. In fact, I even showed her the self-inflicted cuts on my arm. Next thing I know, I'm not on the schedule. Prolly been reported, idk.

[johneem]

in my opinion your relationship with your family is the greatest importance, find out fully what is causing your stress and fears and confront your family with this, ask them to help you cope, if you'd had done this before the party your family would have recognized what attending the party meant to you and hopefully would have supported you in this.

co-workers come and go, family stay forever in your life, they are the ones to depend on and help you through your bad times.