What I Didn't Know About Men

That's what I was saying, basically. If you want a more accurate idea of what men are about, you need to ask all of them, and even then, there are factors that could affect the answers, not to mention those who might intentionally answer differently than they feel, just "for fun." But another problem is the questions. Not only what's being asked, but how is each question asked? You can ask one person the same question two or more different ways, and get two or more different answers. And then there's gender. The majority of men identify themselves as men. But what about men (physically) who feel they're "women trapped in men's bodies"? Or don't feel they're fully a man or fully a woman? What about women who feel the opposite? What about those who have had gender surgery to become male or female? Who gets to be designated a man for this survey? These are all things that can affect the outcome of the survey. Additionally, the author may interpret the answers differently than those who took the survey meant.

....."if you want more of an idea what men are about ,you have to ask all of them...." as Guilda Radner used to say, "Nevermind."

I do have to ask that when you read that STATEMENT did YOU actually read the entire thing (from beginning to end) or did you just scan and take what you wanted out of it..... bits & pieces? I ask this for if one read the entire section they would see that it told why the Surface statement was not true.... but a false interpetation based on that of others and that the second part would tell why one might look or appear this way when they are not:

FIRST PART: Surface Understanding #6: Men are unromantic clods. (the false assumption)

SECOND PART: What that means in practice: Actually, most men enjoy romance, sometimes in different ways than females, and want to be romantic — but hesitate because they doubt they can succeed.
(truth for many MEN - but YES, not all) - (surveys are never 100% - and no one should ever believe they are)

IMHO - I do believe this thread is being taken to literally, no leave way for the ones it does pertain to and that others are making it a political things.... instead of a self HELP for those females that cannot get their MAN to open up and talk to them (that which btw happens very often for some of us - even if we do try).

This book can be a TOOL to get couples talking about IF this is true or not of him..... Like I did with MY MAN, and I found that some where correct, some were half & half and some did not pertain at all to him - but all in all my MAN liked the book (and the many others I gave given the book to)..... PLUS, many of the men I gave the book to their wives liked the understanding if gives of him the male.

I know that people will not always agree with everything that is said or done in life..... but please do not wreck the HELP that could be available for others - this book is just like any religion, doctor, surgery options, medicine, diet, etc..... it will be for some and then again not for others - BUT that does not make it wrong.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I have a question!!!

(You said instead of bashing to ask, right?)

Why do men have to blare the tv when they can hear it at a normal and appropriate level??? And why can't they change a garbage bag? Why do they lay around instead of sharing the couch with others???

I guess it goes back to the old saying "HOME is a mans CASTLE"..... so in essence - he is just being the KING. (shy smile).

OR................. he is turning the volume up for he really does have a hearing difficulty and is just to embarrassed to say..... No one likes getting old before their time.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

If you want to improve your communication with your man, then get a book on improving communication in general. Sexist stereotypes are hurtful.

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Why do men have to blare the tv when they can hear it at a normal and appropriate level??? And why can't they change a garbage bag? Why do they lay around instead of sharing the couch with others???

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Do you not even see how you're stereotyping men? There are women who fall into those types, too. So, it's a PEOPLE thing, and not all people. When you speak of it as, "Why do men...," you present an image of men as being like that. It's easy to say, "I know men that do all these things. I know lots of men like that," and conclude, "This must be common among men." But if you open your mind, you'll see this is common among people of both sexes, so it's not a "man thing." It's unfair to characterize men this way.

If men were the only ones to have a particular characteristic (or very few women also had it), then you might be able to say it's a man thing. But when something is common among both sexes, it's unfair to attribute it to one gender. It also sets a false image of men for younger females.

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Maven said:
Sexist stereotypes are hurtful.

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Why do men have to blare the tv when they can hear it at a normal and appropriate level??? And why can't they change a garbage bag? Why do they lay around instead of sharing the couch with others???

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Do you not even see how you're stereotyping men? There are women who fall into those types, too. So, it's a PEOPLE thing, and not all people.

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LEXI...... (((( hugs ))))

I do not see you as stereotyping men with your question - I see you as a WOMAN feelings confused and irritated with your sufficient others ways..... and YES he happens to be MALE for you happen to be FEMALE, hence why you ask WHY DO MEN???? and not WHY DO FEMALES??? when you asked your question....... no different than when a man ask WHY DO WOMEN!!!

BTW....... Women know just as well as Men that not all fit the question being asked.... so why it is seen as Man Bashing or Generalization when we (the female) does it, but not Woman Bashing when a man does it? - something to consider.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

..................................... PeAcE.

Can we try to put this back on to a more positive footing? I see a lot happening in this thread, but I don't see much support.

Answer to Rhapsody: Yes, it is male stereotyping. Asking, "Why do men...?" is asking about qualities you attribute to men. If she felt both sexes did these things, she should ask, "Why do some people...?" And it is wrong when men do it, too.

Sorry but I am in contact with several men who do this and no women who do this type of behavior. Sorry if you feel I'm man-bashing.

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Maven said:
Yes, it is male stereotyping. Asking, "Why do men...?" is asking about qualities you attribute to men.

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Ok can we please get past the POLITICS and move forward with the support that Ben talked about and I was trying to implement, for this is getting old..... for like it or not people will always ask WHY DO MEN (or) WHY DO WOMEN when referring about the opposite sex in their questions.... for its a form of speech and usually nothing else is meant by it.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

............................ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) LEXI - I totally understand where you are coming from, and that no harm was meant or implied with your statement.

Both of these threads have become personal. I'm locking them, and please take personal issues to PM.

Thanks,

KD