[confused$$]

My ex-partner and co-parent of our autistic child is in a relationship with someone else now. This other person is also married. Is it ever a good idea to inform the unknowing spouse of the affair? (even anonymously) This situation is much more complicated than you can imagine.
First of all my ex-partner, the mother of my son lives in the same house with me for the betterment of our child. My ex-partner's new love interest is a woman who is married to a woman. It get's more complicated. My ex-partner is a MFT who was hired by this couple to help with their martial problems. So, I must live in the face of this love affair that for professional and ethical reasons must be kept a secret. Do I just let this relationship go on because it is really none of my business or do I allow enough info out so the unknowing wife has an idea of what is going on? On top of all this, I want my ex-partner back. I want the family back together. Part of me thinks that creating more drama will only make everything worse. Maybe I should just let it go and continue to work on my issues and the choices I made that got me into this predicament. Help. I need some opinions and advice.

[Leed]

I think your idea of letting it go, and just dealing with your issues is the best idea. Things like this always get "found out" anyway by the 'unknowing' partner, without you having to tell her. So it's best to stay out of it and let nature take it's course. It's going to get ugly enough without you getting into it.

At least this way, you may have a better chance of getting your ex back without having gotten into the mess. I hope it happens that you get her back if that's what you REALLY want. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[lido78]

I agree with Leed. I have a habit of getting myself involved with issues that do not directly affect me, and it does not usually go well. If the situation affects your child, however, I do think you have a right to suggest that your ex-partner deal with the situation and make sure that she does not bring any of it "home." Are you sure that your continued co-habitation is what is best for your child? I don't have any background with autistic children but I wonder if they're more sensitive to stress and anxiety than other children....

Agreement with Leed on staying out of it.

Regaining your relationship with your ex aside, I think it's the best approach especially with a child involved. With the complicated lifestyle that your ex is living, your child really should have someone there that has a solid footing without being mixed up in the mess that's surely to be coming down the road. be the sound voice for your child by remaining uninvolved. Even if you have feelings about the situation, keep the space between you and the situatioin for your kid. he/she needs stability and getting involved in it will undermine your being able to be the rock they can lean on

Hope this helps.
~s4

[confused$$]

Thank you so much for your tidbits of advice. I was in agreement to all three of the post to my issue, but I just needed someone else besides the voice in my heart to guide me. My child (Jake) is my purpose in life and needs to be my primary focus. I know this will pass in time, but for now it really sucks!! I will not get involved. If it is meant to be that my family will re-unite as one full of love it will happen. If not, I will survive. Confused$$

[Perna]

I would tell the new love interest that you know and that she should end it or you will tell the MFT "authorities". She is not just potentially wrecking your ex-partner and new love's lives but lives of those she would potentially counsel. I don't think she would counsel "cheating"? She needs to be gotten out of the industry.

If you have a therapist, you could potentially tell them too, ask their advice and if they would help you deal with sanctioning this idiot non-therapeutic therapist.