[lenjan]

I need to hear from anyone who has been forced to rely on a relative when you didn't want to. Apparently I'm getting what I deserve for having the nerve to get deathly ill and lose my job.

My sister has been crawling up my butt all week. I have a job interview Monday and thought that would finally make her happy. Instead, she's being a PITA. The job is for less money than I can comfortably live on, but it's a job in my field, an hour from home, and it will get me out of here.

I just got subjected to a 15-minute rant about how if I even bother to go on the interview, she's not lending me gas money, if I take the job, they aren't helping me anymore -- they won't help me rent the truck, pack and unpack, etc. She thinks I"m being irresponsible. Somewhere in there she basically told me she's sick of me anyway, so I don't know what her problem is.

I can't stop crying and I don't know what to do next.



Candy

[bebop]

((((candy)))) it sure sounds like she is wanting to control you. Good luck on the interview!

[SeptemberMorn]

What the hell does she want, Candy?? She rips you for not having a job, you get an interview and she rips you again?? Sounds like a complete control issue to me!!

Yeah... you know I've been depending a lot on Jerry. I knew before and I know now that it's gonna be tough! But I got rid of his ***!! He was controlling me in his own way, by keeping me dependent and then he up and leaves, doesn't say a word, and I'm the ***** because "I need."

Do what you can to get a job and Get the Hell Outta Dodge! Maybe some of us can come up with some money to at least get you the gas to get to the inverview! DAMN I HATE CONTROLLING PEOPLE!!! WHERE THE HELL DO THEY GET OFF?????

Candybear, I'm sorry... you having to deal with this!

(((((((((((((((( Candybear )))))))))))))))

[EJ711]

Candybear,

It sounds like your sister is frustrated with the situation too.

I'm sorry she's putting so much pressure on you. People who haven't been in our particular situations just don't understand how hard it can be to land a suitable job, especially in today's job market.

Hugs,

EJ

[heatherm]

((((((Candybear)))))))

I am sending you good vibes and wishes for your interview. I am a firm believer in things happening for a reason. You are one tough cookie girl and I admire that.

I think I read that someone (Tomi???) suggested in the fund to be used to help you? I think that is a wonderful idea.

[lenjan]

Thanks, everyone.

The idea of a fund drive has gone down to a rousing defeat recently, but I appreciate the thought.

I can't afford to p*ss the bee-otch off, so I'm not going to the interview. I'm guessing she won't help with gas money to my shrink next week either, so that'll be the second month in a row I cancel that.

Maybe when I get a job that meets her expectations folks who wanted to could contribute toward stuff like a truck rental or part of an apt. deposit or something. In the meantime, I'm stuck here. Does this count as domestic abuse, or just mind control? And exactly when might I actually grow a spine? Tune in tomorrow .....

Thank goodness for net friends, anyway. I get irritated with the place sometimes, but PC is still the best.

Love, CB

[nothemama8]

Candybear is there anyway you can do freelance work for a paper, might help with short term money
Angie

[lenjan]

I've been doing freelance work, it's not a way to get rich. The most I make is $150 per piece, and that's rare. $75 per piece is much more common.

[EJ711]

Hi Candy,

Hide and hoard your freelance money, and use it to escape -- lol!!!

Hugs,

EJ

Hug

[SeptemberMorn]

Is that it? She doesn't approve of the job?? Are you a child and her your mother?? I DON'T THINK SO!

Yeah, Hon. You need to draw your boundaries and stop letting her push you around.

Is there any way you can cash in those phone cards we were talking about? Or could you sell them?? Just an idea.

[razeljenny]

Man she sounds like a witch Candybear. Ignore her foul words. Like you said stay focused and I'm sending good thoughts to you and the situation. Some people are stinkers. They think they are perfection and Gods. When things get better and you are free you're going to be so happy, but you hang in there and be more adult than she is. I hate soap opera family members; I believe in you. "Thank God, Every day is A Brand New Day, With possibility."

[razeljenny]

You know Candybear, I had that happen with my Mom, after I moved back when I became sick. She really said and did mean stuff. I could say that it seemed abusive. I was thinking, maybe you should research the YWCA shelter in the area. I had to stay there for my mental health. It got rotten. She was unyealding in a way that caused my thoughts to get muddled and confused, as well as my self esteem to go down lower than a healthy place. I started rapidly going down hill. She must have been passive agressive at that time in her life. We get along great now. It was just that she did not function very well with a 23 year old woman living under her roof that wasn't exhibiting the mirrior immage of perfection of what a BETTER HOME AND GARDENS family affair was supposed to be according to the standards that she thought all of the neighborhood was living in. She exibited craziness, parinoia, and zilch compassion, for she feared what others might say about her daughter , who was not doing as good as their's were. She was acting ashamed of me. The reason she acted that way was because people don't have compassion and they think of their own pleasure lost when they have to take in a guest. If you aren't a royal guest, they are cheap. The word of God states how the finely dressed man was led up to the frontt of the temple and the poorly dressed poorer man was told to sit in the back of the church. Pride happens in families, and it is so stinky. The way I got more well was to rise above it (slowly and on my own howerer way I could do it At the Ywca) and later go back for my own mental health and show Forgiveness to the harming one which was my mom, realizing that anger and stuff will only cause me pain through and through my bones and make my days sick and short, when I could have long life and Joyousness, if I chose to be more adult. ((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

[EJ711]

Razel Jenny -

What a great post!!! Thanks for sharing your story and your wonderful insights and attitude.

Hugs,

EJ