Something my husband said.

My husband has been working with my father in his recording studio, they have a few artists right now and one is a talented girl in her early 20s.

"I just want to let you know that 'R' asked for some notes on her songs and vocals so if you see emails back and forth that's what it's about... And nothing else. I know how your mind works..."

My husband just said this to me... Makes me feel like an ***hole. he's right, if I saw him emailing back and forth with a woman I would panic,.. My heart would drop... Fear of him cheating an abandonment will sink in, I will start a fight.

I wish I knew why I was like this.

Has he given you reason to not trust him?

My heart sinks every time I hear the ding of a text message or email on my husband's phone, but he has broken my trust in the past. Even now when we're trying to reconcile, I find it difficult.

For ten years my husband made me feel "unloved" by not making me a priority, by withholding communication and looking to fulfill his needs outside our marriage (with porn and online relationships). I commend your husband for initiating the communication and trying to ease your fears. That being said, only you know whether or not you can trust what he is saying.

Wishing you love and PEACE.

This could be a symptom of your GAD, I think, looking at your signature and the way you describe what happens: "panic,.. My heart would drop".

Panic and heart dropping are GAD symptoms. It is not your fault - it is your illness.

Instead of beating yourself up for being that way (and by that I don't mean ignore it though) find peace and joy in the fact that you have a husband that knows you and even better, accepts this and goes out of his way to work with you as you are. There's no better motivator for us to grow than one that already accepts us as we are and accomodates for our shortcomings.

Be happy about that!