[KennyM]

<font face="Comic Sans MS">Many difficulties in a friendship, including marriage, can be put to the back by the simple act of resignation. Some ideas of one may never suit those of the other, and compromise cannot always be reached. By accepting certain situations or attitudes as permanent, they will somehow become more acceptable. Eventually the conflicting ideas will not be an issue, thanks to resignation, and this leaves more room for mutual contentment. A few short notes on cooperation and long term commitment.</font> <font face="Comic Sans MS"></font>

<font face="Comic Sans MS">40 years and counting.</font><font face="Comic Sans MS"></font>

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[darkeyes]

KennyM welcome to this forum, your contributions to the forum are most appreciated. This is true about "resignation", I have personally found by doing so in many situations has made my life a little easier and also avoiding confrontations with others by accepting things about them. Over the years I have also learned to accept the things I cannot change which has allowed me to move on. Difficult at times but is possible. Keep in touch.
"darkeyes"

[Zenobia]

Resignation is not something I am good at. Sure I will back down. Mostly I don't talk about what I need but that is a different matter. Anyway I will back down but I never really let it go. This is something that bothers me because I definately don't want to be one of those people who constantly whines and harps about past hurts. To me that is repulsive but then I realize that I am doing it. Yuck. So frustrating.
Zen

[KennyM]

<font face="Comic Sans MS">Hi Zenobia</font>

<font face="Comic Sans MS">I don't consider it standing up for myself but letting myself feel better. If someone is doing me direct harm I will try to put a stop to it. If it is already done, and it's not worthy of further discussion, then it's done, for whatever reason. An old timer had interesting view about this.</font>


<font face="Comic Sans MS">"It's hard to have one's watch stolen, but one reflects that the thief of the watch became a thief from causes of heredity and environment which are as interesting as they are scientifically comprehensible; and one buys another watch, if not with joy, at any rate with a philosophy that makes bitterness impossible." - Arnold Bennett (1867-1931)</font>

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[Zenobia]

I think that is acceptance of what cannot be changed. I need to learn that. I also need to learn forgiveness especially for myself. I think I hold things over my own head more then anybody else's. Argh.
Zen

You can't always get what you want but if you try sometime you might find you get what you need.--Rolling Stones

[mj14]

The funny thing is, I think too much resignation is one of my problems...I tend to expect so little from people and from life, and every bad thing that happens I just accept. And while I may not spend time lamenting what I cannot change, I often end up in bad situations and do not get myself out of them the way I should. I know this is just semantics, but I prefer the word reconciliation to resignation...it implies taking active steps to achieving peace with a situation or person, rather than just accepting things the way they are. But that is mainly because, as I said, I tend to accept too much too willingly.

[curlyq]

Welcome Kenny. Interesting ideas there. I'm thinking on them. I think accepting and cooperating are good ideas. I also think that 2 people coming up with totally different solutions that suit them both at the same time is desirable, too. Then the accepting and cooperation go more smoothly, hopefully.

Nice to see you here. I like your monkey and fonts, too!

<font color=purple>"Shared joy is double joy; Shared sorrow is half-sorrow." Swedish Proverb</font color=purple>

[KennyM]

<font face="Comic Sans MS">mj14, I agree with you about preferring reconciliation to resignation. I was thinking more along the lines where things just can't really be reconciled. Say an annoying, permanent habit that won't or can't change. I think resignation, or acceptance of this ongoing thing will release that frustration or anger of trying to change it. Depends what it is I guess.
</font>
<font face="Comic Sans MS">I like that swedish proverb curlyq. Funny how similar it is to: "Friendship improves happiness and abates misery by the doubling of our joy and the dividing of our grief." - Marcus Cicero (BC). A different time, different place, same nice meaning. Monkey? That's me hanging out.</font>
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