[razeljenny]

I am a woman and I was wondering, how to tell all my friends that I am gay. That I just want friendships with guys but I don't want to get involved with them beyound that and that I am gay and draw the line with that boundry. I have a bunch of guy friends now (recently) and they call (I know them from AA and a mental health club-[hope there are no major phycopaths that I just gave my number to] Well anyway, I haven't broken my promise to myself about getting involved. Do you all think I am a jerk wanting all these "friends." I want to expect that my bounderies will be respected and I will be a tough tough cookie. A small part of me is screaming in my head though worrying that men just don't obey any rules, no matter who makes them or how hard anyone tries to keep them. Help, I want support from you to be very firm and couragous and safe around people. Gee, I don't know about me. DA.]

[Rhapsody]

Hmm - are you talking about letting your guy friends know that you are gay, therefore, not interested in a dating relationship with them? - or are you talking about letting all your friends know (male & female)?


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[bebop]

just be very upfront and honest with them. most will be pretty ok with the fact. hang in there!!

[hillbunnyb]

when i came out, i thought i would start with my brother who was, i thought, the most liberal member of my family. He wept. It threw me for such a loop that my plans of going down a list informing everybody blew right out the window. I started telling individuals when it came up/seemed appropriate. . . You could come out in the safety of the groups if you were feeling Xena-ish..... if you know what i mean-ish. coming out feels soooo much better after it's done. the closet is a weighty burden and the air very stale....... . you just never know how people will take it. . . .Be strong, good luck!!!

be honest with the guys. when it feels comfortable and the timing is appropriate. xoxox pat

[razeljenny]

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Rhapsody said:
Hmm - are you talking about letting your guy friends know that you are gay, therefore, not interested in a dating relationship with them? - or are you talking about letting all your friends know (male & female)?

I am talking about both tellling the guys and comming out to all of my friends in general. It is such an odd feeling and is scary. I'm feeling scared

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

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reckon some of them know? and you aren't aware of it? and this isn't the dark ages......people have come light years since i was a young woman.........the Navajoes respect their gay individuals, as they do their elders. they believe that they hold a special place in the tribe. and you are special also......don't forget that. xoxox pat

[Rhapsody]

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razeljenny said:
I am talking about both tellling the guys and comming out to all of my friends in general. It is such an odd feeling and is scary. I'm feeling scared

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Honesty is indeed the best Policy.... but do not just jump into it - give it time and bring up the subject as it needs to be told, on a need to know basis.
BTW - a lot of your friends might already know or have already been wondering if you are.... I knew long before my friend told me.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[hillbunnyb]

yeh, by the time i got up the nerve to tell my Mom, her reactoin was: "I thought so". My sister said,"So?" My best friend, who i was in love with, said."I don't believe it."

coming out can be funny, it can be devestating and confusing. but, it beats the closet.

[Lexicon78]

If your friends are good friends and you are close with them I'd say spill the beans. If you have friends who are attracted to you or interested in you, I really wouldn't tell them.

In my experience, when I let some of the people around me know I was in a lesbian relationship they were all like "can I join/watch?" It was quite sickening. It's like they couldn't get it through their thick skulls (and male egos) that you're a lesbian because you like WOMEN and not men...and had no interest in them in any way, shape or form!

Sadly, in the past the guys would get so...male (sorry guys, but this is only in my experience) they wouldn't care if you were gay or straight...they'd take advantage of you either way. I'm sure you all know what I mean.

Please be careful.

[Maven]

I agree with simply being honest. Unfortunately, you can't always be sure who will accept it and who won't. Even if the initial reaction doesn't seem to quite be acceptance (but isn't unacceptance), give people a chance to "absorb" the information. Some people may not have had someone come out to them before, and aren't sure how to react. They might be ok with a gay person, but don't expect it to be someone they may have thought of as straight all the time they've known her. It might be something new. I'm just saying this, in case you get a reaction that doesn't seem to fall in either category of acceptance or non-acceptance.

[walkswithspiritbear]

I believe that you should just tell them all. That air will smell much sweeter and the load off of your shoulders will feel so good. If they are friends they may already know and just don't talk about it because you don't. If they are all good friends then it won't matter at all what your sexual preference is. A friend is someone you can be yourself with. Not hide away from. We haven't met before and I am hetro but have known many of both sexes and I would rather have known that not. Does your family know? You don't say anything about that. Take care and be seeing you around the forum.