[Kathryn S.]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to posting on forums but this looks like a great place to start. I posted the following on the new members page and it was suggested I post it here.

I've been questioning my mother's mental health for awhile now. She was always on the high strung side but in recent years it's gotten worse. She is either energetic or very tired, she often complains she's not getting enough sleep. She can be very moody, quick to anger, quick to put down, and she thinks nothing of screaming at us and calling us names from time to time. She blows off important things and way over reacts to little things. She's also very unorganized, looses things constantly. She gets fixated on topics to the point where it's like she can't stop. Even with prompts, she'll get distracted for a few seconds and then start again. Friends have started asking me if she is manic, if she has adhd. She calls me on the phone a minimum of 6 times a days whether or not I'm working or she's working. She's constantly complaining she has no money even though she's not a reckless spender. Not sure what to do. Feel awful talking about her like this but I'm at my wits end. Any suggetions???

[mazing]

Has your mother seen a health professional about her symptoms? This kind of behaviour could be caused by a number of different conditions but only a doctor could tell for sure and be able to diagnose her so that she could get assistance.

In the mean time, can you have a discussion with her about what you are seeing? Being on the other side, you often don't see the symptoms clearly until you hear it from someone who knows you well. If it is done politely and diplomatically then it can make a huge difference.

Hang in there If she will see a doctor about her symptoms there is help out there.

[Leed]

I agree with Mazing. How long has it been since she's seen a doctor? Do you think she'll take offense if you suggest it? Will that trigger her?

How close are you to your Mom? Can you sit her down and gently talk to her and kind of throw that in where she would agree to go? Perhaps you could go with her. In fact, that would be a good idea, because she won't hear 1/2 of what the doctor says, and probably wouldn't tell you anything he said anyway.

It really sounds like she need therapy big time. She may even need medication, but only a professional would know that. I wish you the very best. I hope you'll keep us informed, as we'd surely like to know. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Leed

I agree with Mazing. How long has it been since she's seen a doctor? Do you think she'll take offense if you suggest it? Will that trigger her?

How close are you to your Mom? Can you sit her down and gently talk to her and kind of throw that in where she would agree to go? Perhaps you could go with her. In fact, that would be a good idea, because she won't hear 1/2 of what the doctor says, and probably wouldn't tell you anything he said anyway.

It really sounds like she need therapy big time. She may even need medication, but only a professional would know that. I wish you the very best. I hope you'll keep us informed, as we'd surely like to know. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

I think Leed's idea to go WITH your mom is just great. Not just because SHE will not hear half of what the doctor says, but also because YOU would be able to convey to the doctor some of your observations. Sometimes the patient herself does not see what the relatives or friends see. It is actually quite common. I once interviewed a lady doctor who was very very nice, but ultimately too expensive for me. Had I gone with her though, she would have given me a questionnaire for relatives to fill in. So some doctors go to those lengths even, by offering a structured questionnaire.

[Kathryn S.]

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate the feedback. I am definately going to talk to her doctor about it. I did try to get her to see a therapist once. I had her come with me to mine to see what it was like. Kept it low key, just come and see. Well is laid into me for probably a week after that. Then she suddenly started saying she may be interested in going. When I told her I could get a referral for one for her, she backed off and never mentioned it again. I find I have to treat her with kid gloves. I will try to mention it again keeping in mind she may not see what I'm seeing. (thanks for that pointer).