Date Ideas for the Socially Anxious

My boyfriend and I have been wanting to go on more dates to strengthen our relationship, but we're constantly running into the issue of what we're comfortable doing. Both he and I have fairly severe social anxiety, though it manifests itself in different ways for both of us. We both also struggle with agoraphobia, me much more than him, but are trying to push each other to work through our phobias.

We've talked about what we want to do for each other, but there's always problems. He's always wanting to take me out to a restaurant, but I have a lot of trouble eating in front of people. I want to take him out to a movie, but he has trouble with the environment and crowds. I worry about taking him somewhere boring or that he wont like or wont be able to handle, and he worries that he's done something wrong if he's set something up at home. And in my opinion, we've maxed out or "stay at home dinner and movie nights". Whenever either of us do manage to do something we're both maxing out on our PRN's just to get there, and although we have fun it's also far more exhausting than a date should be.

So I was going to open up the floor and ask for date ideas that can accommodate social anxiety, a low budget, and fun or quality time. Especially since its so close to Valentines day. (I want to do something nice because its his first V-Day with a girlfriend)

Somewhat Successful Ideas:

1. Live Theatre: for some reason it is easier to handle than movies, mostly because it's less crowded and everyone pays full attention to the actors and not the people around them. The downside is that it's hard to duck out of a performance compared to a movie.

2. Stay in Movie Night: can get boring and repetitive, but it's a good stand by just being the two of you. You get some alone time at the very least. Maybe watch something cheesy or from your child hood. Pull out the old VCR.

3. Boardgame Night: is awesome. If you have some boardgames that are two player, pull them out and play.

4. Halo Night: or an equivalent. I prefer retro games or racing games, but I tried this because he enjoys video games a lot. It was fun, although I had a hard time because of my fear of playing in front of others. I just picked games I was good at

5. Bookstores: My boyfriend loves books, and is working on his library science degree, so taking him to a big bookstore was really nice. Just walking between the shelves and talking about his favourite series, or stuff that I had read and thought was good. It was low pressure and fun. The downside is being tempted to buy things, and possibly going your separate ways.

6. Coffee Shop Date: Between doctors appointments, or before and after, me and him go to coffee shops and just sit and talk. It's not very romantic in my mind, but it's a nice way to spend time.

So that's what I've got so far? Any ideas from anyone else?

How about museums? Some areas have low cost or free museums, but you could always splurge a little. I'm not sure if museums ever do any sort of coupons on Groupon or anything like that...

Also, when it gets warmer, what about a picnic? You could find a fairly secluded spot where you don't have to worry about other people.

Walks or bike rides?

What if you combine two of your ides? Try bringing a board game to a coffee shop? Some coffee shops might even have games there like chess and checkers. You could bring a game that doesn't take too long, give it a whorl, and if either of you get too anxious, you can just leave.

You could also always dress up your stay at home dinner and movie night. Do something fancy, break out the nice dishes (if you don't have any, check out Savers or Goodwill for a couple of nice place settings -- all you need is two!), put on music and light candles. And then light candles while watching your movie. You could even do themed dinner and movie nights... Watch The Tiger and the Snow (and Italian film with the actor from Life is Beautiful in it), have Italian cuisine, and listen to Italian music during dinner. Little things like that can add variety to an otherwise in-a-rut feeling evening

Hope some of these help! Happy Valentine's Day!

Around here the cinemas open early, so how about maybe hitting the cinema then? It shouldn't be crowded if you go in the late morning/early afternoon. If it's a cinema in a centre, there may even be a restaurant where you have a meal after the film, but before the crowds start picking up.

After that, you could then retreat to somewhere more comfortable for you both for the remainder of the day/evening.

Have a great day whatever you decide to do

I read something a couple in our town did, was walk all the streets in town in alphabetical order. That is quite a project, but it might give you some ideas.

Can you buy a dinner then go to a park or something and eat there?

Maybe look into a local card-shop. They usually have boardgames that are cheap to rent (or free).

Places like ihop may have all night bottomless drinks or something. If you have time during a weekend, you could bring a game and play there. Then you could eat but there shouldn't be a lot of people so it would be pretty empty.

Hm.. I guess it really depends on where you live and what types of things are there. When me and my boyfriend first started dating, we both still lived at home. His parents and mine were all crazy (lol), so we hung out in a park near his house a lot. We got to know each other a lot, and it was free and always nice and peace ful

I have that thing too, with eating infront of people :/ I have got better with it though, so we eat out sometimes now. Not as much now, since we live together and our bills are too expensive lol. But, maybe make sandwhiches and stuff and have a picnic in a park, or somewhere where it is just you 2?

lol, I didn't see your post before I posted mine :P heh, I think it's a good idea lol

You could also go to a library and hunt for interesting books together. Libraries are not always crowded. Infact you could even call the library near you and ask them when their slowest time normally is and then plan to visit during that slow time. You have already said how you both love books.

Also can you check out Antique shops around where you live, sometimes they have old books and are not very crowded to go to.

I don't know where you live but if you live near the water, you could take a drive along the shoreline and look at all the homes etc and the water. I have done that with my husband when I just want quiet time.

As a little twist to the movie idea, if there is a drive-in movie in your area, these are always a lot of fun, and much more private (since you're still in your car--or my personal favorite, if you own a truck and put an air mattress in the back and bring lots of blankets!), and is not "stuck at home." And then if you want to keep with the '50s vibe, go out for malts/milkshakes at a late-night diner, and since it's late it wouldn't be so crowded. Also, you can take them to-go, eat them together at a park, or whatever.

Long, long, long drives, are just always a lot of fun, if you're into that kind of thing. Especially that part where you get lost, or you almost drive off a mountain or something.

Most bowling places are ghost towns in the middle of the day, unless there's a tournament going on. So maybe call and check ahead. I think a lot of different places are kind of like this--really really crowded during peak hours, but completely empty during off hours. Ice skating/roller skating rinks also tends to be that way...

Hiking. Can't get much cheaper or more solitary than that.

Maybe I will come back if I think of other things...