[henrydavidtherobot]

I slept with a friend of mine one night when we were drinking. He kept kissing me the next day and we went out for breakfast. We started hanging out (no sex) and then one day, he ditched me. When I respectfully confronted him about this one night when he was walking me home. He started getting really panicky and stuttering. After he realized that his excuses weren't phasing me, he said that he likes hanging out with me but he just got out of a four year relationship and that she's emailing him and its rough. Also, he said that he has social anxiety and is introverted and doesn't like going out. I didn't see what any of this had to do with me, but I didn't judge him for it. He pretty much ignored me for a month and I gave him space. I gave up.

We've started hanging out again. He's kind and pays for me, but doesn't make a move. I'm wondering if this is a horrible idea. I don't want to get hurt, but there is no one else where I live. I want to have romance in my life like every other college kid, but I feel like the odds are against me. I don't want to question myself and feel ****** like I did when he ditched me. I don't know if it would even work if I ignored him because we see each other all of the time.

Also, I'm not sure if I should bring up the things he said when we walked home or if I should ask if he sees more-than-a-friend potential with me. I'm typically good at communicating and I feel comfortable speaking my mind, but I don't want to scare him away again. I rarely meet people that I like, as a friend or as a possible romantic interest. I want to bond with people, but as usual, its not working ...

[hamster-bamster]

Fwiw, if he started getting panicky and stuttering, he might indeed have social anxiety.

[astenon]

I have trouble socialising, so perhaps aren't the best person to give advice on this, but here goes anyway

Why don't you ask him where he sees things going over coffee one day. Say that you value his friendship and really enjoy hanging out, but because of what happened you're a bit confused about whether you're just friends or if there could be something more.

It may be that he's just as confused. In that situation, I'd probably love hanging out with you, would probably want more from the relationship, but be absolutely terrified about losing you if I suggested something more.

Just my 2 pennies worth. Not sure how useful it is as I'm inexperienced and probably incredibly naive when it comes to situations like this.

I'd say let it go - for the time being. Concentrate on being good friends first, and try and put romance on the back-burner. Gain each other's trust, get to know each other properly, and just perhaps you may get together later on. And if you do get together later on, relationships with friends can be really strong and good.

[henrydavidtherobot]

I figured that his claim was valid. I didn't want to judge him for it. I made me feel a lot better after talking to him because I knew that he didn't do anything out of malice.
Astenon, what would you do if you were me?
roitgrrl (great name, btw), I think you're right, but I worry that I may be friendzoning myself.