I said goodbye to a friend the other day. It was one of the hardest decisions to make in my life. I'd only known him for a year, but it was one of those relationships where you just...click. Living so far away from someone you connect with on many levels is a challenge; one that you must enter into willingly, with all awareness of where it could go wrong.

I did. There are just some challenges a person can't say no to.

And seemingly, despite all our attempts to keep things rolling, the distance...and other commitments...and guilt...they all worked at unstitching that connection. And with the help of some truly supportive people here, I made the decision to no longer live in limbo.

I chose this path to free my mind of him. I feel imprisoned by my memories - and it's not fair. I shouldn't wake up every day wondering when my mind will stop flinging me into the past. The past is long since gone. But sometimes, I guess, it lingers and won't let go. So I need to let go of it and move on.

I'm waiting for that to happen. I'm waiting for the day when my thoughts don't drift to him - because that will be the day that I know what I decided was the right choice.

And until then, I'll sit...and wait...and wonder...

If I'm lucky, I might even hope...

[justmemaybe]

FrightenedRabbit
If you have been close to this person for along time. It takes time to let them go.
My ex and I were married along time. I dont think theres a day when i dont think of him. Not really in a good way as we had big issues.
I still thou can rememeber the good times, Its very hard to let go of ppl.
Sometimes I think you let them go for a time. Then they are back.
That will not happen with my ex.
Good luck to you and give it time. Keep busy as i found that had helped.

[Leed]

I think you may be lucky the relationship was only a year long. Even tho you can gather a lot of memories in that time, if it had been say - 10 years long - it would have been much worse!!

It sounds like you made the right decision since the distance was against you as well as other issues. You shouldn't have to suffer from guilt as well as other emotions while trying to keep the relationship going.

So just figure you made the right decision and try not to analyze things. Move forward with a clean conscience, and you'll be fine. I wish you the very best, and please take good care of yourself. God bless! Hugs, Lee