Why Family Gets The Worst Of Me

I come from a very dysfunctional family, one so dysfunctional the members don't even acknowledge it. Apparently, I'm the crazy one? That's at least how they have always made me feel. Maybe I am. But even if I am, they should do things and help me and support me in ways that make me feel "less" crazy. I think it's best to move on from them, although it hurts to leave the past. I need to find a "new me". I need to find something separate of them that makes me feel whole. I always wondered why my grandmother ran away and disowned her own son. I see it now. I understand. I'm not gunna go so far as rebel, I will just choose to ignore. Choose to be separate. Avoid all contact. Let them think I'm crazy, it shouldn't really matter. Just like my aunt, it was easier for me to deal with her absence because I knew she was bipolar. If they think I am the crazy one, then maybe it won't hurt them so bad that I'm absent in their lives. That's even if they care at all. I have my own kids now and a husband, so I'm not completely alone. I'm done with the sickening feeling that my family brings. I can't feel guilty anymore. I shouldn't have to feel this way. After an email from my mother this morning, a mother who is an adulterer, I think I need to do theminimalist.com thing and get rid of "****** relationships" get rid of those who do not add value to my life. Thankfully because of the distance and my family's lack of desire to associate with each other, it shouldn't be too difficult. They don't add value to my life. They don't make me happy. They don't make me feel good about myself. So Get Rid of It!

I was under the impression that in the majority of cases, members of dysfunctional families do not believe that their families are dysfunctional.

Another day, that's how I feel. Life is too short to be around people who bring you down. It's hard enough as it is! You owe it to your h and kids, and to yourself, to build the kind of life and family you want.

Dear "Another Day Down" ~ Bless your heart. I know it can be so very difficult, and some families are TOXIC. If yours is toxic, then by all means, distance yourself. You don't have to be made to feel "less than." You don't have to take ANY KIND of abuse from ANYONE -- not even family.

Just because they're our family and society SAYS we're supposed to "love" them is a bunch of hooey. When they're treating us as 2nd class citizens, we don't have to do anything. We wouldn't take that kind of treatment from our friends, so why take it from family? Toxic is toxic, and if they're hurting and berating you, then stay clear of them. Perhaps at some later date, they'll see the error of their ways. But for now, you don't need it.

I wish you the very best my friend, and I hope you feel NO GUILT from any decision you make. You shouldn't. It's their actions that have brought you to this -- it's nothing YOU did. So you, your husband, and children enjoy your lives and don't worry about the rest. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee