Why are people so mean?

Children can also be extremely cruel to one another, and can be aggressive almost as soon as they start having a sense of themselves - around 18 months or so.

This hatred is learned behavior, thus we can unlearn this with enough effort on our part. PS

What makes you think that meanness always comes from hatred?

Meanness can also come from hurt, not just hate. Oh, and jealousy & fear. It can also be a barrier, to be on top of the food chain as it were, and protect oneself by being the meanest. I also believe that we are born with all our emotions, which is why a very small child can hurt others without a blink of an eye.. Its not til later and we learn how to deal with such emotions which makes us what we are later in life. But even that can change, due to circumstances.

I also disagree with TV. So many people think that TV is the root of all evil, that's far too simple. The emotions are already there in place, TV doesn't do so much. Sure, some style of jokes are acidic on TV, but all TV did was get it to a mass audience - we already were like that, just look back in time. Look at wars and that's why we will never stop having them. By the way, I love sarcastic, acidic humour for the most part. But I am British and that is very much our humour and there is little like it in the world. And I can tell you, this humour has not changed me in the slightest and I am very capable of kindness, and often am.

I also disagree with the internet. It is just a platform, and it cannot be responsible for people's meanness. How can it? It has no brain. It can be an easy place to hide bullies, but that is changing in the courts. On the flip side, both TV and the internet can be a source of much good and help and a perfect example of a good human trait - this forum for example. Here is a wonderful example of kindness from perfect strangers. Its just we are yin and yang and we are all capable of kindness and hate, these are emotions that are human.

Oh, and I was also bullied at school as I was a punk. Why did people be so mean to me? Because of fear of the unknown, not understanding, and not liking anything different. I do not think that those bullies hated me, they just didn't understand me.

That has never been my experience. I've raised four of my own and have dozens of nieces and nephews, and two grandchildren. Even the naughty ones were never cruel. There was unacceptable behavior of course, but that's where we the parents come in to teach them how to deal with these situations.

You have never seen or heard of a kid who would taunt, tease, humiliate, make fun of, put down, or prank another kid? Those things are cruel, and they are extremely common on every playground and in every school yard.

"There is little compassion and value system in our world today. To me, people have lost their morals and values. What happened and why? is it greed or just the me, me and me attitude? "quote KittyKay

Yes, you are right it is getting "worse" and it is due to how we are "raising children" in a way that is not how we as human beings were designed to be raised. If you think about it, primitive man didn't have cribs or baby carriers or playpens or day care etc, children were "kept close" and were very involved in the activities the mother did, even how the "group activites" took place. It was too dangerous to leave a child "unattended".

We now have a society where "mothers" have careers and we raise women now to think about their own careers etc. and there is less and less emphasis on the significance of being a mother and actually being very "present" and "involved" in the home/family environment.

The dynamics of our home environments have really changed and have become much more "hectic" and fast paced and more focused on "personal developement" which tends to create an atmosphere where many mothers and even fathers have become much more "self absorbed" and less focused on the home and the children in the home.

If we look at what is now very prominent in the home sending us so many messages about "how we should think and be", TELEVISION, it is actually "disruptive" in many ways too. There is so much drive towards "children" being in daycares from very early ages while "mom" is all about "mom and her career".

Well, what we are "not" recognizing is that we are taking away some very important things all children need and more than ever before they are getting less and less "nurturing" and a sense of family. And with all our technology, children are kept busy with "things" and these "things" are often "overstimulating" their brains. Also, there are now so many images and messages that show so many kinds of "threats and even tramas" that it is no wonder there is an increase in depression and anxiety disorders.

Our teens and young adults are so bombared with information of all kinds and so often go "unheard" and they have so many "hero" type messages growing up, that they all think that they need to be "someone important and big".

More and more we have been pushing our children to think they need to be alot more "grown up" then they are ready to be. I saw that when my daughter almost 20 years ago entered middle school and the girls there looked like "women" with makeup and "sexy" clothing.

There has not been enough time now for children to learn about "compassion and respect". I could see this years ago, and I thought about how that would affect my daughter's generation, and it is not good.

Honestly, it is in my prayers that we will finally recognize the significance of how a childs brain developes and what is really needed to produce an adult that is more confident and feels they have a good "core" so they can actually respect others, appreciate life more, instead of having all the core issues that are so unhealthy and are rampid in our society today.

I have heard of these things. But not in toddlers, before they have the influence of the "pack". My point is, until they are introduced into society in general, their first instinct is to help and comfort. These cruel behaviors are learned.

Why are people so mean?

Because in today's society very few people hold the mean accountable for their actions, so the behavior proliferates.

Amen to what Permanent Pajamas said. The lack of accountability has a lot to do with the trend to put others down these days - and this kind of behavior was fostered and encouraged both online and offline. How many times did any of you hear someone say something crude or inappropriate, then backtrack and say "Oh don't get your panties in a knot, it's just a joke?!" (Or worse, turn on you because "you can't take a joke" while their mates approve).

At any rate, I think the Internet is largely responsible for the lack of empathy nowadays. Once you get used to spewing all sorts of crap online, where you can't be held accountable for it, that kind of behavior tends to happen in real life, too. Today's twenty-somethings learned to (pardon the expression) cr*p on everything years ago on the Internet.

Last month, I witnessed my 13 year-old cousin play a multiplayer game on his brand new console. It was the kind of game you can voice chat in. Imagine my surprise when I heard him shout "Take a **** up the *** and die you ****ing ****" (replace those asterisks with things a kid that age should absolutely not say - and I'm no prude, believe me). I rest my case.

Some find that the way to make themselves feel big is to make others feel small.

I think that people have chosen to not treat others as they wish to be treated because they have chosen to view others as unworthy of human decency. I have heard many people say "Well, that person deserves it because (I have judged that they do not deserve better than how I decide to treat them)" What a shame.

Some twenty-somethings have learned that, others have not. As a twenty something myself, married to a twenty something, and the majority of my friends are twenty somethings, I don't associate with "mean" people, or people who just plain don't care about others. I make a point of finding people who have similar values to my own -- and I can say that regardless of religious or political views. Some twenty somethings still remember the golden rule and are as flabbergasted at how some people behave as "older' folks. I do worry about the younger generations... the one's who have had technology readily available to them for a longer time... ipads entertaining toddlers, cellphones when your 10... I worry that the human race is going to forget how to interact face to face...

RomanSunburn: Power to you for being different. My generalization was a bit unfair, sorry. I'll amend that to 'the majority of today's 20-somethings', since I'm surrounded by people in that age range at college (when I bother to go, anyway) and that's what I see almost all the time.

Heh... when I was a teenager I told myself I'd never spin the "kids these days" line, but you're right. Besides - it's a little ridiculous to see kids as young as 6 or 7 with fancy iPhones they don't even know how to use. **shakes head**

In reply to the original post, I don't see how the co worker was being mean. Perhaps it was his way of starting a conversation and making light of something that was clearly unfortunate to have happened to the man on the tv.