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Member
Member Since May 2011
Posts: 272
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#1
My ex boyfriend is mad at me. He said that I lied about something. I thought I told him the truth but I don't remember. About two now we are still not talking. (I would ask him things and get short answers from him.) I have ask for his forgiveness more than once. How do I get him to forgive and get things back the way it was?
PS. The lie was about my past. |
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tokotoko
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
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#2
Personally, I don't see what your past should have to do with the present. If you're going with a guy, what difference does your past have to do with what's going on now??? Why does he even have to KNOW about your past as long as you're truthful with him NOW?
He's being unreasonable. He didn't have have to know about your past! If you told him something and perhaps "missed" something, so what? Actually it's none of his business in the first place, as long as you were honest with him while you were with him. He owe YOU an apology in MY book. YOu don't. That's how I see it. God bless. I'm sorry you're going thru this. Take care and God bless. Hugs, Lee __________________ The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield |
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afterrain, hamster-bamster
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Grand Wise Rabbit
Member Since Feb 2013
Location: England
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#3
Why do you need his forgiveness?
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afterrain
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Member
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posts: 403
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#4
Not sure what your ex BF is upset about. Keep in mind some people really don't like lies no matter how small. It really is a case by case basis. Example would be. " How many relationships have you had before me?" Answer: approx 5. Your ex BF then finds out it was more like 25 then that could be an issue for him.
__________________ Life is short so enjoy it! Last edited by Scotty204; Mar 13, 2013 at 12:28 PM.. |
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afterrain
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Member
Member Since Feb 2013
Posts: 268
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#5
If there is broken trust in your relationship, it can take time to heal. Things like taking responsibility for your actions, demonstrating remorse, and trying to make amends can help. I wish you the best.
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afterrain
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Location: Northern California
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#6
Quote:
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afterrain
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Location: Northern California
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#7
Quote:
If this is OK to do in job search these days, I do not see why it is not kosher in dating. Actually, this sort of inquiry into the past on the part of a prospective employer seems more warranted than unnecessary curiosity on the part of a boyfriend. And not just benign curiosity, but, per OP, sense of entitlement to being free to interrogate your partner... |
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afterrain
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Member
Member Since May 2011
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#8
He said that I lied about "being with someone". He was being really mean about it. He is a friend and I don't want my friend to be mad at me.
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Posts: 5
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#9
Quote:
Over the next year and a half, he has struggled with fully trusting me. It isn't an easy process and may never be fixed. I used to believe that time, communication, and faith would heal him, but that hasn't been the case. He still gets unexplainable sinking feelings every once in a while and it is tearing us both apart. From what he says, nothing triggers it. I think the trigger is poor communication and lack of closeness, but I can never know. He won't even listen to what I have to say. As of yesterday, he wants nothing to do with me even as a friendship. I feel that will only create more distance and increase his suspicions considering we do still see each other, have many mutual acquaintances, and work at the same place. We can get along but the intimate relationship we had before is basically non-existant since he can't bring himself to fully trust again. It is definitely painful. I don't know if this will help you, but they seem to be similar cases. I just wanted to point out that it could take a very long time and will likely result in a lot of heartache, sadness, and sick feelings. I hope that your situation improves. I know the situation probably feels like it is consuming most of your life. I hope that this forum can help you. Have faith and be patient. That's all you can really do. He will have to choose to forgive and trust on his own. |
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afterrain
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afterrain
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New Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Posts: 5
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#10
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afterrain
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Account Suspended
Member Since Sep 2011
Location: Northern California
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#11
In data security, access to sensitive data is given on what is called a "need to know basis".
The same principle should apply here. |
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afterrain
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Junior Member
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: India
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#12
Hey dear, I have gone through the exact same issue with my current boyfriend and he also had made a big deal out of it. We didn't speak properly for quite sometime and although howmuch ever I explained to him that I truly only belong to him and love him from my heart, he kept saying that my past somehow hurts him, I apologized to him several times for this because I love him so much and I don't want any problems between us. and also because I thought argument will do no good but remember here that he is supposed to understand you and your past shouldn't make things bad in your present. He must be in a hard place I understand picturing your past maybe but if he is true to you he will regard your love greater than everything else.
Hope everything turns out well God bless. __________________ Today if you become frightened, instead feel inspired. |
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afterrain
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afterrain
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