[MamaBless]

Hi guys I'm new into this forum and need advise,I'm a mother of a 5 years old girl.I recently found out I'm positive and told my husband about it,he also tested and it was negative.He promised to support me all the way but now he says he doubts that I knew about my status before we meet,he's not the father of my child.I was raped when I was 10 and never told anyone about it,I grew upwith std as I didn't know anything about how to treat that at that time,I became preagnant in 2009 then I broke up with my then boyfriend until I meet my husband,I didn't want to check my status because I never thought the would be anything wrong with me,I want to save my marriage but I'm failing because my husband doesn't believe in me

[Leed]

Hi Mama ~ That was your biggest mistake -- not being tested in 2009. You NEVER know who can pass something on to you. Now you said you tested positive, are you talking about HIV?

Why did your husband say he'd support you all the way at first, and now he doubts you? You'll just have to keep trying to keep convincing him that you didn't test yourself because you just didn't think you'd be infected. I really don't know what else to tell you.

But you have to remember that you two are going to have to use a lot of protection to keep HIM from being infected. He's at danger now too, you know especially if you talking about HIV. And i ASSUME that the hospital tested your child when it was born too, correct?? They're supposed to anyway.

I think you two should go to marriage counseling if you want to save the marriage. Ask your husband to go with you. I'm sure it would help. I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by MamaBless

I want to save my marriage but I'm failing because my husband doesn't believe in me

It is very nice and thoughtful of you to want to save the marriage, but your priority should be HIV treatment, if needed. I do not know how much the delay in treatment matters, if at all.

HIV/AIDS: Treatments and drugs - MayoClinic.com says that whether to begin treatment depends on the viral load. So that may be independent of the delay. In general though, with most diseases patients' prognosis is the better the earlier the treatment is begun.

If you breastfed the daughter, she might be positive as well, so she should be tested. I do not know anything about HIV treatment in children, but still, the general idea is that you and possibly the daughter should be cared for professionally.

Proper treatment and proper management of treatment side effects, which can be rather vicious, can and do prolong lives. So that needs to be your #1 priority now - marriage comes second.

I am sorry this all happened to you! Being raped and infected at age 10 is the most horrible thing!

Please handle your priorities in the proper way: husbands are to some extent interchangeable but you and your daughter have one life to live, each. No extras.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Leed

And i ASSUME that the hospital tested your child when it was born too, correct?? They're supposed to anyway.

No, the laws vary by state. Plus, since the virus can be passed on through breast milk, the newborn's HIV negative status at birth does not matter very much anyway.