[jadzea]

Yesterday I was working in a large room where numerous people were eating lunch. A big screen TV was on and was showing a man who for some reason had lost an eye. He did not wear a patch or an artificial eye but rather had scar tissue grown over the sunken eye socket. One of my coworders approached me and told me that that man across the room must really like me. I was confused and asked him which man and he said the man on TV because he was winking at me.

I didn't even think and told him that was a mean comment and asked him to think about how that man must feel. My coworker became embarrassed and walked away.

What prompted him to make such an uncaring and cruel comment? It served no purpose and I certainly did not think it was funny. People these days think they can say anything about anyone and it is OK. When did we lose our compassion for humanity?

[avlady]

i don't know why someone would do something so horrible you must have been so hurt and embarrassed. Some people are just mean, trying to look for attention for themselves too. I'm sure others in the room knew inside themselves he was wrong, but I don't know why anybody else wouldn't speak up for you. It's a cruel world sometimes

[AAAAA]

I would like to know the answer to that myself. Somewhere we lost compassion, common sense and personal responsibility. It drives me up a wall!

Good for you for calling your co-worker on it!

[Peaceful Soul]

I am sure you have all heard the comment, "hurt people hurt people" and it makes sense to a degree. The thing is, the people who are being mean are shutting themselves off from the very thing that heals.....kindness

[Travelinglady]

I was just going to type that, Peaceful Soul! I have found it to be true. Some therapist even wrote a book called Hurt People Hurt People.

[RomanSunburn]

I think this is an issue infecting every aspect of our lives... Can anyone of us leave our homes (maybe we don't even need to...) and experience a day without someone doing something mean or hurtful to you, sometimes without even thinking about it? I don't know what happened to the Golden Rule.. Maybe everyone needs to go back to kindergarten...

[AAAAA]

I don't think they follow the Golden Rule in Kindergarden anymore .

[Travelinglady]

Have you noticed how cruel the humor is in the media these days--TV, radio, movies, etc.? Even a movie called Mean Girls.

We need more people speaking up and saying, "That was plain rude, crude, and socially unacceptable!" Good for you!

[unaluna]

Well... maybe he was trying to be funny but didn't succeed? I would wonder why he spoke to you to begin with. He probably never will again. If you're okay with that, then your answer to him was fine. But if he was a lonely person trying to start a conversation, you could have replied with something like, "hey you should try that trick yourself, cuz this is not working! " or just started talking about what happened to the guy, and how you think you'd cope. I guess this is a special topic for me because 6 months ago I went temporarily crosseyed - back to normal now - and wore a patch part time. Plus a T has to be open to all sorts of remarks, so even tho I'm not a t, I try to do that. But you're right, I don't like strangers talking to me - mostly I don't like street people hitting me up for money. For some reason I'm kind of insulted by it. They are relentless towards me.

i don't know why the heck he would make such a rude comment. it's really not worth it, but don't get too hung up on it. i hate to get hung up on comments like that. i have come to realize that what people say is not always true and sometimes people are just rude for no reason. i've noticed myself doing it while i object to others doing it. it's weird. i guess you can call me a hypocrite for that.

maybe it just came out wrong. i mean, don't take it too personal. that's what happens when i take things too personal. i become sad and i start brooding. weird but true.

[Koko2]

I've noticed that almost everyone has to be a comedian at work. Coworkers are telling "jokes" all day even though they're not really funny.

some people just want to be impressive. but i hate how they use their coworkers. it's just slightly disrespectful.

[tigerlily84]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Have you noticed how cruel the humor is in the media these days--TV, radio, movies, etc.? Even a movie called Mean Girls.

We need more people speaking up and saying, "That was plain rude, crude, and socially unacceptable!" Good for you!

While I agree with you, the point of the movie Mean Girls was to show that this "mean-spiritedness" needs to change; particularly in relation to how women communicate with each other.

That being said, it would be nice if people could stop and think before saying something mean. My cousin used to say that if everyone had to work a retail job for 2 weeks, the world would be a nicer place! I tend to agree with him!

[AAAAA]

I agree with your cousin as well tigerlilly. I would expand it. I think everyone should have to work in a nursing home for a couple of months and in a restaurant for at least a month.

[Travelinglady]

Yes, I hope people got the point of Mean Girls. Sometimes attempts to make fun of something bad backfire and people agree with how the person (actor/actress) acts. Case in point: Archie Bunker as a bigot on TV years ago.

Of course, it can depend on things like tone of voice--sometimes it's hard to tell when somebody is trying to be funny or actually trying to be mean.

[LovelaceF]

Interesting. I think it is part of being human, that we can feel aggressive toward others, or try to maintain a pecking order. Unfortunately, putting others down can elevate one's social position.

On a side note, is disparaging humour "mean" when there is no victim? I.e. the target is in a magazine or television?

[KittyKay]

Somewhere we lost compassion, common sense and personal responsibility. It drives me up a wall!

Good for you for calling your co-worker on it!

+1 -you said this well!

There is little compassion and value system in our world today. To me, people have lost their morals and values. What happened and why? is it greed or just the me, me and me attitude?

[AAAAA]

Originally Posted by LovelaceF

Interesting. I think it is part of being human, that we can feel aggressive toward others, or try to maintain a pecking order. Unfortunately, putting others down can elevate one's social position.

I don't know Lovelace. Children, whom I believe to be humanity in its purest form, instinctively help those less fortunate. They are naturally curious about differences, but their questions come from a desire for more information rather than cruelty imo

[Squaw]

Originally Posted by PAYNE1

Have you noticed how cruel the humor is in the media these days--TV, radio, movies, etc.? Even a movie called Mean Girls.

We need more people speaking up and saying, "That was plain rude, crude, and socially unacceptable!" Good for you!

I agree with your insight on media being "unacceptable"..there is an organization that is called the Parent's Television Council, that is hard-working to change the way the media represents things on t.v. because of our children watching it, and being influenced by it..! Feel free to contact them and join the rest of us..there are over one million of us and counting. We are always looking for new recruits to help us keep our children safe...Be well, Payne1... BTW, you don't have to be a parent to join, just concerned about children as well as ourselves...

[0w6c379]

Originally Posted by jadzea

I didn't even think and told him that was a mean comment and asked him to think about how that man must feel. My coworker became embarrassed and walked away.

What prompted him to make such an uncaring and cruel comment? It served no purpose and I certainly did not think it was funny. People these days think they can say anything about anyone and it is OK. When did we lose our compassion for humanity?

Thank goodness you were right on target with your quick comeback. It upsets me so much to read what your coworker said. I think there are too many people like him in this world today. Making such cruel jokes. I hope for them that they experience double the pain that they inflict on others. Unfortunately, it's been my observation that these kind of people remain untouched by the hardships of life and they are the one's most deserving of it.

[Double]

I'm glad you called him out on it. If he's genuine he may just take it to heart, otherwise he may have already shrugged it off.

I understand where you're coming from because I once worked the nightshift with a coworker who had a really 'dark' and 'crude' sense of humor. You've got to watch out for those people, don't let em rub off on you. Stand up for your beliefs just as you did, and keep moving.

i'm speachless..how heartless to make such a comment.

[pachyderm]

Have you ever found yourself being "mean"? If so, under what circumstances was it? Were you feeling harassed, out of sorts, not up to par? Though it might be painful, maybe looking at oneself, one can see why other people do similar things...

[Peaceful Soul]

I wish to add some further thoughts to this conversation, this negativity or meaness is something that is very pervasive in today's society, it is everywhere and affects everyone. This meaness has to take root somewheres, has to have its genesis in someones soul. It can not exist otherwise, it needs hatred and malice to exist. It (hatred) once given life, picks up speed as it goes further injuring others and destroying everything it touches. Nothing positive nor beneficial can come of this and it will destoy everything it touches. It serves no purpose other than to destroy and ruin everything in it's wake. I also believe that "society" has put its stamp of approval on this meaness as a way to build self up and it is a sign of weakness to show compassion and caring for individuals that are perceived as weaker or more vulnerable. It has become sport for many to subject these folks to ridicule and cruelty. Where did we get this erroneous assumption, TV maybe? The television is becoming the catalyst for malice and dysfunctional behavior, it is the town crier of all of societies ills and is a carrrier of this message of malice. This is to say nothing of the internut. The only way this vortex of hatred can be stymied is to start with the individual and one at a time try to change one's own heart and mind. To be continued, PS