[Mawkish]

I'm so desperate for attention and friendship, I usually try too hard when meeting people for the first time and I kind of scare them off. Maybe I should wait for people to want to come to me, instead of the other way around. But I just lack the patience for a miracle to happen to me and people rarely want to get to know me better.

[Confusedinomicon]

You could try toning your enthuasim down so you don't scare them? Do you know what you do that you suspects scares people away?

[Mawkish]

Originally Posted by Confusedinomicon

You could try toning your enthuasim down so you don't scare them? Do you know what you do that you suspects scares people away?

I reveal too much about myself and we all know I'm a freakshow :P

[tinyrabbit]

I have a friend who does group therapy and she says it's good for learning about and modelling interpersonal relationships. Thought I would throw that out there.

[slopatient]

You could try sculpting your enthuasim down so you don't frighten them? Do you know what you do that you thinks frightens individuals away?

[thumb]

Why do you think you're a "freakshow?

What do you reveal that might scare people away?

[Mawkish]

Originally Posted by thumb

Why do you think you're a "freakshow?

What do you reveal that might scare people away?

I flaunt my insanity as though it were a good thing.

[Evil Schnoodle]

Originally Posted by MargotQuill

I'm so desperate for attention and friendship, I usually try too hard when meeting people for the first time and I kind of scare them off. Maybe I should wait for people to want to come to me, instead of the other way around. But I just lack the patience for a miracle to happen to me and people rarely want to get to know me better.

We all have to try to meet people initially. It's a scary thing to be vulnerable - "will they like me?" But I've found that most people are worried about the SAME thing. I've found that when I put people on a pedestal, like I HAVE to become friends with them....it usually ends up poorly. Nobody is a perfect friend or relationship...nobody is on the A-Game all the time....If I try to hard and maybe idealize someone, they never meet my expectations...and it's easy to devalue them. I'm working on being balanced in relationships...keeping the small number of friends I have...and enjoying *me* (my habits, talents, and quirks). Funny thing is...when I'm balanced and liking me...other people want to be around me without my having to try....

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by MargotQuill

I flaunt my insanity as though it were a good thing.

Well, that seems to be an easily correctable behavioral issue. Can you begin new relationships by sticking to being more conventional about what you talk about?

I am not saying that insanity is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is definitely not the kind of thing that you reveal immediately, unless, and very narrowly unless, you mix entirely with very bohemian people in whose circles having insanity is considered "de riguer."

But the issue is not, "Maybe I should wait for people to want to come to me, instead of the other way around. " - the issue is your failure to stick to the socially appropriate norms of disclosure of personal information during initial interactions.

[Mawkish]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Well, that seems to be an easily correctable behavioral issue. Can you begin new relationships by sticking to being more conventional about what you talk about?

I am not saying that insanity is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is definitely not the kind of thing that you reveal immediately, unless, and very narrowly unless, you mix entirely with very bohemian people in whose circles having insanity is considered "de riguer."

But the issue is not, "Maybe I should wait for people to want to come to me, instead of the other way around. " - the issue is your failure to stick to the socially appropriate norms of disclosure of personal information during initial interactions.

I've just had a breakthrough in regard to my illness- I dramatize it and it's a sort of drapetomania. I used to think being unhinged was "cool", but now I realize everyone is "messed-up" in a way, it's just that most people choose to hide their insanity and faults.
Moreover, I think people will accept my foibles if I reveal them gradually.

[Mawkish]

Originally Posted by Evil Schnoodle

We all have to try to meet people initially. It's a scary thing to be vulnerable - "will they like me?" But I've found that most people are worried about the SAME thing. I've found that when I put people on a pedestal, like I HAVE to become friends with them....it usually ends up poorly. Nobody is a perfect friend or relationship...nobody is on the A-Game all the time....If I try to hard and maybe idealize someone, they never meet my expectations...and it's easy to devalue them. I'm working on being balanced in relationships...keeping the small number of friends I have...and enjoying *me* (my habits, talents, and quirks). Funny thing is...when I'm balanced and liking me...other people want to be around me without my having to try....

I've realized the same thing- the harder you try, the less interested they are in you. "Always say less than necessary." is a quote that will stand me in good stead and heighten my mystique and maybe that way people will want to get to know me better.