[ZenZeta]

This is my first post here, but I need some advice.

For starters, I am the Adult Child of 2 Narcissistic Parents that lost a brother to suicide last year (apparently he couldn't deal with the stress of our childhood). I have been in therapy for the past year and though he's wonderful, financial issues are making it so that I am going to have to quit therapy.

Here's the short version of my issue: I have met an absolutely amazing person and I am TOTALLY FREAKING OUT!!!!! ...to the point that I think I am going to sabatoge the relationship due to my own issues. He's AMAZING... sweet, kind, attentive... TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE basically.

I have avoided relationships like the plague because I HATE this back and forth feeling. I'm all warm and fuzzy one moment, then waiting for him to dump me the next.

I struggle with feelings of being "good enough" and fearing he's going to leave me. I know that if I show him this side of me it will be a total turn off, so I try to keep it to myself, but the internal conflict is driving me bananas.

Part of me just wants to call this thing off before I get hurt or "in too deep", but then the lonely part of me says stick around. What do I do? I don't want to chase the guy off (and according to my father, the only place a man cares about a woman's feelings is below her waist), but I'm so afraid he's gonna "find me out" and dump the clingy, crazy chick. HELP!!!!

[Travelinglady]

Hey--and welcome! I just had one narcissistic parent. I can imagine what two would be like.

Please remember not to pay attention to what your dad says. He is wrong. Not all men are like him.

Could you talk to your therapist about your situation and see what he/she recommends? Maybe you can go less often, pay to talk by phone (which might be less), go to a clinic.....

Does your boyfriend know what your parents are like? When he gets to know them, he will understand you better, but you might need to keep him away from them for right now.

I encourage you to try to stay involved in other activities, too, such as outings with other friends. That way you won't be as tempted to smother your new relationship.

[hamster-bamster]

Fearing that he might leave is a waste of your time and mental energy.

You will deal with the problem of his leaving you if and only if such a problem arises in the future.

You can prepare yourself to deal with such a problem by diversifying your set of friends and activities,as advised by Payne.

That is all you can do.