[Balooo]

Seventeen years ago, I met the man who I love with all my heart. Our first start only lasted 4 years, and we separated for about that long. we met back up and again started dating. we eventually got married. After 6 years of marriage and a lot of distrust, we were divorced.

Again we went our separate ways for a short time, about a year or so. And then again, yep you guessed it, we got back together again. It was fairly rough in the beginningas we both seemed a bit leary of this again. and took quite a few "time outs". After a brief timeframe we got back together again and actually moved in together. This only lasted 8 months before he decided we just couldn't live together.

What breaks my heart is this continual coming and going that he is doing. He knows how much I love him and how I will continuously take him back. He keeps telling me that things have to change between us if this is going to work. This coming from a man who told me he loves me, but has since become quite distant with me.

I cry on a daily basis, because AGAIN I have gotten my heart broken. I seem to be in this pattern that I cannot escape from. And whats worse, is I would gladly take him back in a heartbeat if he asked. My heart cannot take this anymore. What is his purpous for continually doing this to me. My Heart cannot take much more of this.

[hamster-bamster]

Some people cannot cohabit but can maintain relationships for years on a live out basis - maybe it is that kind of situation?

[Balooo]

I doubt that, because he won't even say he loves me anymore, and it feels like he really doesn't want to be around me.

[BonnieG2010]

you should be the one who break this cycle. And you should do it for a very good reason: yourself.
You should never love anyone more than your well being.
If loving this man makes you sick and sad, then you must cut this rope.

I know it's not easy. I've been there. It took me 6 years to decide that i really did not want any of him. It may seem a long time, but it's over now and I'm free.

Please love yourself much more than this person can do.
Please.

I agree with Bonnie. You're the one who has to break this cycle. Not easy for sure, but will be better for you in the long run.

[Balooo]

Unfortunately because of my accident with him I will always have a physical reminder of him. Every time I see the scares I will remember him. It's heartbreaking

[Balooo]

It's very difficult to let go because of the accident we were in together. The physical scars will always remind me of him. It's difficult to look in the mirror, see those scars and not be reminded of him and what we once had. I know. I sound pathetic.

Once upon a time I did feel good about myself. Then this kept happening again and again. And little by little I questioned why this keeps happening to me. As soon as I'm happy, something always happens to crush my spirit.

[BonnieG2010]

You think you are the only one undergoing rough times? No. It is not so.

I've learned to protect myself, from bad situations. That's why I am less in pain that you are today.

If you don't want to let go of him, you have a right to do so.
But then please don't complain about the hardships of life.

[Trippin2.0]

He will keep doing what he does simply because you allow it. He knows you will always be his backup plan and therefore has no need to do any better, because you readily accept whatever it is he offers. Everytime.

You have to learn how to love yourself, then you won't feel the need to settle for him and the scraps he throws at you. And like Bonnie says, if you cause your own misery, you really don't have a leg to stand on when you complain, and we all want support, but there are boundaries... Speaking of which, you really need to learn how to set some.

Move on, cut all ties, and learn to love yourself. Not easy, but completely possible if you give yourself half a chance. Goodluck