[grace428]

Very sad today. I have been in therapy for what seems like a hundred years and find that as I learn and have grown my relationships keep changing. My siblings have not had therapy, but need it. So I find myself falling 'victim' to their manipulative games, and as I thought today about how one sibling that I have had fairly good contact with over the years is 'playing' me and decided I won't 'play' anymore I felt hurt, sad, and lonely. Fortunately all I did was let myself feel the grief and cry a little, but in the end decided that I have learned I can go on and live the life of freedom my therapy is affording me. It's still sad though, that the healthier I get, the more distance there is between me and the only family I have ever known. I'm just sad, and wondering if anyone else is having this experience.

[shezbut]

Quietgrace,

That's an interesting way of looking back upon your life.

I do understand what you're saying ~ about outgrowing your family and feeling sad. I can relate. My immediate and extended family is sick as well. It has taken me a long time to truly understand how I was continuing to allow myself to be hurt or scared by/for others. That was my motivation for almost everything that happened in my childhood through early adulthood.

A couple of years ago, I finally gathered the strength that I needed to stand alone. It wasn't an easy task for me, but I believe that it was necessary ~ to help me gain a better understanding of myself at first, and now it's a tool to help me feel safe. I do occasionally let my walls down a little, to let only my parents enter my world a bit now. I'm not ready or willing to allow the others back in my world. But, it is a rare event nowadays. I'm no longer riding my mom's seesaw of emotions...I have my own to deal with! I really need that space to allow myself to think and feel ____ without a fight ensuing.

It has taken me a couple of years to reach this spot in my life. I am kind of a slow learner though. Hopefully, you shall reach this point more quickly. I wish you the very best! Take care

[Leed]

Hi Quietgrace ~ I can understand too! It's taken me a BUNCH of years to finally get to the point of "having enough" of my familys' nonsense. I don't have much family left, but what I do have are untreated. I'm the only one who has gone thru therapy, etc. and the rest ALL need therapy.

I have one sister that has tormented me from the day I was born. I don't know why she has hated me so, or enjoyed tormenting me -- but she has. It wasn't until about 6 months ago that I informed her that I did NOT want to hear ANYTHING more from her, and as far as I was concerned, she was dead to me. Then the witch sent me a birthday card with STAMPS so I'd write her. If it was legal to send a bomb, I would have. LOL

But yes, it can be sad when you find that you've 'outgrown' your family. It's difficult when you're more mentally healthy than they are, and it's hard to relate on that plane. It can be very frustrating too. So I can understand. I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee